journalists

if i wanted your opinions i would read editorials
when i read your articles, i want facts
and when i want to laugh, i read the bbc website.
eg today's story about Russian spies in America, they interview one guy who worked with one of these so called spies and he says
"I'm either very, very bad at second-guessing who is a Russian spy or he hid it very well."
Seeing as those two concepts are mutually exclusive, i'm going to add a third corollary,
you're a moron.
spies are probably good at what they do. and you're clearly bad at guessing who are spies.

i also was thinking today that if i was (or when i will be) a dictator, i will be less concerned about things like censorship and saying bad things about me. the things i will be concerned with are:
1) no eating like animals
2) no driving like selfish turds
3) no doing anything like a selfish turd
4) i will also implement an iq test. before taking it you will have to guess your own score. the closer you get, the more money/benefits you get. however, unbeknown to these people is that anyone who guesses their score to be 20% higher than their actual score gets evicted.

anyways, i'm off to reread quincy