lost in translation

the funny thing about this film is that there is almost no dialogue (let alone foreign talk) for anything to get lost (or even translated)

so it appears i have finally exhausted the internet having found and read these sites

sickipedia
lamebook
textsfromlastnight
passiveaggressivenotes

anyone know of other funnies, feel free to let me know

so i hit some tables on the weekend.
i've noticed that i've been getting dealt 44 a lot this year. so i checked my hands, noting that the correct amount of times to get it is 0.45% yet after 18000 hands i'm at 0.60% which is 108 times instead of 81
i also got set under set 3 times in about 500 hands on t'weekend amongst many other annoying things, but luckily i've been outdrawing people to make up for all of those things.

beginning to get worried i'm not good enough to win my millions via this method. might have to think about alternate avenues of revenue. hmm

in the meantime, here's a song

i fought the law

and, I won!
yeah.
though when i say law i mean council.
and when i say fought, i mean sent a moderately worded letter to them with photographic attachments.
and some would say i didn't win, i just avoided a parking fine, but i say money not lost = money won (thanks for that tip mike caro, true in life as much as on the tables).

i went to the shops with my new found wealth and saw some olive oil, some virgin olive oil and some extra virgin olive oil. i think they aren't understanding the word virgin very accurately.
it's like saying, this fellow here, he is alive.
the dude next to him, is extra alive.

unless of course they are referring to superpowers. i used to think i didn't have any superpowers but i'm pretty sure my hearing is abnormally sharp to quiet sounds. like that women who was briefly in heroes before syler took the power. of course, it might just be tinnitus playing a joke on me.
i found out one of my friends does have a superpower. he can remember lots of conversations from many years ago as if they were yesterday and bizarrely as though they are pictures. not a useful super power, and not as exciting as x-ray vision or predicting the future, but a superpower nonetheless.

yanuare

was a busy month. i only played for two weeks, got quite a few hands in but things went according to a very bad plan written by an evil person with some sort of foreign accident i couldn't identify.

here is the proof:



i hope to make that back in february. starting......(not now). first i must get some ice cream because i don't think it's been cold enough outside recently.

brief live blooging

*blogging

playing only the blogging competition malarky and the turbo takedown tournament (or as i like to call it, the TnTnT. very explosive stuff)

so just started the blogging one and have had kings three times in 20 minutes. no chance of a run good towards the end and i might as well retire from it now

AK sooted now. someone at my table asked if anyone was live blogging. i said yes, i'm telling everyone that reads it my hands. (luckily no one reads it)

ffs, kings again. might get action this time. makes up for getting 44 about 260 times in 2660 hands last night. but i'd rather have got this on a cash table.

TnTnT starting in five minutes. i can feel the excitement building in my pants

my mistake, that was just my phone vibrating.

KINGS AGAIN this is ridiculous. everyone folds pre again.

playing one or two tables is pretty boring. i think i might just go all in every hand till i either win it all or lose

A5spades lost to Q10 spades. Q10x flop. tyty, back to starting stack.

oops lost a hand in the wbcoop, up a little in the TnTnTnT. damn calling stations hitting slightly better hands than me (and i never have good hands apart from kings) and never folding to lots of bets.

and out of the w b coop running into aces.

and i'm bored of this. i'm going to think about what i've done

i'd finally run out of jelly bellies so decided to play some of the pokers last night.
beginning to play pretty well finally after a terrible start to the year. not making anything, but it's not getting worse. will post month's graph after this weekend. speaking of which will be trying to play the turbo tournament, maybe the sunday bimillion, a blogger tournament and some cash.

going by current form there is a chance i will forget about all of this. i appear to be losing my mind along with many other possessions i (used to) own. last night i turned up at football without my gloves. ('ha, what a pansy' i hear you cry, but i did not have gloves for protection from the cold, but for i play in goal). When the ball is wet, and the astroturf is sandy, and the wind is cold catching the ball with frozen hands was much easier than i anticipated. that night though when i got home, every time i moved a muscle in my hands they got their revenge with shooting pains. i still have no idea where my gloves are.

i have mentioned my deaf cat before but i don't think i explained that she is also slightly retarded. as a younger cat she would whack her head against the underside of chairs. i fear this may have destroyed a few too many braincells. deaf or stupid isn't really a problem with cats, they're still pretty cool and funny when they aren't pissed at you, but the combination means she just wanders around screaming non stop so that people 4 doors down can hear her. when she sees nobody she gets louder. when she sees somebody, she gets louder.

i didn't hide the jelly bellies well enough. imo

there are 50 different flavours.
choosing a best would be like choosing a favourite state in america. since i've only been to about 10 states, and some of them very briefly i will highlight the best and worst.

sizzling cinnamon. the worst of the worst. hot, but not nice and spicy hot, just horrible. this is like 45 degree (113 deg F) heat of texas combined with going to a gig headlined by some punkrock band in georgia whose name eludes you but the kind where everyone's a skinhead and they try to punch you. repeatedly. and look like they're going to stab you asap.
(note: i did quite like many aspects of texas. the entire city of austin is like camden town)

chocolate pudding. this sounds awesome, but is in fact horrible. a bit like la (but unlike the rest of california obv)

watermelon. also sounds awesome, and tastes pretty good too, but these wear thin very quickly. great if you don't have too many at once. just like florida. except without the scary black guy at the gainesville greyhound bus station showing you all his gunshot wounds whilst telling you about his journey to meet his bro who is getting out of prison. but going once in a while to disneyland is pretty great.

tutti-frutti. everyone's heard of this flavour and it's like a party in my mouth with everyone invited. NYC obviously.

berry blue. i could probably live of these. cool, refreshing and a little bit less known than new york. i would say this is boston.

red/green apple and raspberry. could eat these all day. taste so good i sometimes think i'm eating real fruit. definitely california.

lemon/lemonlime. very colourful and clearly artificial, but i can't say no. hello vegas.

grape. this sounds like it should be my favourite but it's a massive disappointment. like washington d.c., although i didn't expect that to be my favourite anything. still, it had it's good points. note i sometimes mistake a chocolate pudding for a grape - GO AWAY LA, NO ONE LIKES YOU!

liquorice. wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. a 270 mile long barge pole. coincidentally the same size width as the state of utah.

sweet disposition

i've never been so happy

when losing $1600
gonna have to play some poker for the rest of the month. was looking forward to about +$4k, but currently -$4k!

tonights session was funny. i give myself a rating of about 9/10 for playing pretty damn well and just getting violated at every opportunity.
biggest 11 pots i won just two but happy with my play in every single one of them, so can't complain for once. (this positive mindset malarkey is easy imo)

i'd like to think that there are certain times in life when you grow up and behave responsible. i would guess that having kids is one of them.
recently, i saw a woman cross a road holding her kids hand. kid was maybe 5? all good so far. she stopped half was across cos some nutter drove down the road the wrong way to make a turn and didn't wanna wait in traffic. it was pretty terrible driving and the woman noticed him so stopped. as he/she drove past she says to her kid in adult talk to child voice
"what's that car doing?"
followed by in adult shout at adult voice
"fucking wanker"

great example to set the youth of tomorrow

saw avatar the other day. 3d and cgi was amazing. story was a bit weak imo. and i spent the whole film trying to work out if the women were naked, and if they were why their nipples were missing.

3d effects were pretty good and reminded me of the amazing 3d tvs a saw in japan. tvs which didn't require and glasses!