Wednesday, September 24, 2014

why i quit my job

diabetes charities.
helping people who couldn't help themselves to another piece of cake.

i mean that only as a joke. that's obviously wrong as type I is genetic.

what is not a joke, however, is the following tale. set in one of the largest UK companies who supported a diabetes charity for a year. within the company (i did a bit of work there) all the charity raising initiatives for years up till then had involved cake sales, and tuck shops, and more cake sales.
in fact, everything revolved around selling sugary items to people and taking the proceeds for charity. Thankfully, diabetes (the charity) came to town. I naively assumed that now, things would change and charity raising would involve other things, perhaps involving exercise.

i was wrong.

the cake sales, chocolate sales, fizzy drink sales continued unabated. the irony of selling diabetes inducing goods to people who sit around in an office all day was lost on them. i saw them merely giving money to a charity via the method of increasing the amount of work the charity will need to do in future. yes, it was as though the charity was on a recruitment drive, although of course they wouldn't have approved. in fact, for one day, the charity came to the office and gave away free fruit to people at lunchtime. sadly, they literally (as in the original meaning of literally, not the new definition of literally which is literally defined as figuratively) couldn't give it away. I took a few pieces, instead of buying them from the canteen that day. almost no one else went to take some. i told the people sat around me and none could be bothered to go for a walk to get a delicious free food.
the irony was further compounded when a fellow member of staff pointed out, that if someone had diabetes, they would not be able to contribute to the charity since it was all sugary goods that were being sold to raise money.

the worst part was that apart from about 5 people, no one could appreciate all this irony. and that is why i quit working there.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Picture 1

One of my favourite error messages. What boggles the mind is that someone programmed this in.
All I did was press the close button to exit Excel.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

catharsis

from the moment i first laid eyes on her, something in my head and my heart clicked. the short hair, the unique clothes, the smile, i could go on but i don't know exactly what it was. i would describe her as the type to use black headphones with her iPhone. but of course, she didn't have an iPhone.
when it all turned to shit, i would be miserable for years afterwards. was it worth it? I have never allowed myself to ask that question of me before. deep down i must have known i was too close to it. right now, i would say yes. wholeheartedly worth it.

maybe that's why i find myself in a similar situation with someone else i can't ever have. hopefully the feeling of melancholy will pass. it always does, yet each time always feels different. getting absorbed by work is a terrible solution. it just avoids the issue instead of resolving it.

i don't think this post sounds like me. from tomorrow, i will begin again my 30 day photo challenge. i'm not even gonna lie, most of them will be old photos. but that's ok. they're still ones i took and they're not terribad.


"novelty is brilliant, because it exists as a concept"

Monday, June 02, 2014

bicycle. BICYCLE

i went to ride my bicycle.

I think the entire saddle industry needs a rethink. Either that or i don't know how to sit on one. I only went for about an hour and a half yesterday, and today i must have bruises the size of DVDs on the tops of my inside thighs. I can fortunately undertake all tasks that i would like to do. The only act that causes me great pain is the sitting down on the saddle.

While I'm at it, if anyone here cycles, how do you stop flies flying into your eyes, mouth and nose? I wear (sun)glasses but this doesn't even protect my eyes.

Finally, if the road makes could make roads (at least the edges of the roads) out of not gravel, that would be appreciated.

Friday, May 23, 2014

robots

If you live in england you will have no doubt suffered the mental abuse that is getting a phone call only to answer it and have a robot on the other end say something along the lines of "Have you been missold PPI..."
The worst thing about this is that they put this little pause in before they start the message, so you answer the phone, say hello, and then get abused.
It was like those people who used to make answerphone messages of themselves saying "hello (pause) how are you (pause) i'm not here, please leave a message (beeeeeeeeeeep)"

These tend to occur from unknown numbers. Sadly, I sometimes have to answer unknown numbers as some businesses want to hide who they are. (chickens). When i answer the phone from a number i don't recognise (or unknown/blocked) i now just wait a few seconds to see if it is a human.

yesterday i confused a lady who called me because of this silence. i realised yesterday i have been conditioned to annoy/confuse real people by answering the phone with silence, because i don't want to be tricked into saying hello to a robot. a robot who probably doesn't care.

The robots are winning.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

work avoidance

I think i could probably write a book on this.
Ways to avoid work while remaining productive:
1)eating.
this is always acceptable. one needs to eat to live.
2)hot drinks.
as with 1, can also be consumed at a higher frequency than foods.

...

16)go and vote.
all politicians are self serving and detrimental to society. It gets worse the higher up the chain you go. however, due to the fact that some are worse than others, you have to vote for the horrible, egotistical, narcissistic and often mentally challenged folk, to ensure that the worse kind (BNP etc) get a smaller percentage of the votes.
I think it would be great if you could vote negatively. anyway, this is tending to non productive thoughts so they are for another day

...

24)buying computing equipment including wireless mice and keyboards because laptop keyboards and mousepads are built by people who are clearly submental. the keyboard should be as close to the user as possible idiots. not as far as possible.
the f keys should not require extra buttons for them to be pressed.
the mousepad should not be so intrusive that when you use the keyboard you keep accidentally selecting things with the mouse.

...

72) defrosting the freezer.
it has to be done. so why not take a break to do it?

...

141) write a blog post
it's been a while. people might be worried. others might be craving their next fix (MAYBE?). it's essentially important to society that you blog.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

monday bingo

every monday morning at work there is a meeting. it holds up to 15 people and lasts up to 90 minutes. my presence is obligatory, yet my presence is completely unnecessary.
yesterday, i went the entire 50 minutes (it was shorted than usual) without uttering a single word. the best part is no one noticed. I wonder how many weeks i can get away with this for. if i do this for long enough, can i then stop turning up without anyone noticing? an interesting social experiment. i honestly believe i could not turn up for a day and no one would notice. in fact, next week i am having a day off, and i wonder if i could pretend i was there all day....
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