Tuesday, June 30, 2009


this is a gameshow. for those unaware, some people with masterful (allegedly) minds compete to win. i'm not sure what they win, maybe just prestige. anyway, there are two rounds of answering questions, and the winner is the one who gets the most right. if there's a tie, person with the least number of passes wins.

pretty simple.

what amazes me is that i've seen people actually pass questions they don't know the answer to. optimal play is just to make any guess no matter how ridiculous. always answering "is it ghostbusters 2?" is better than saying pass.

anyone that passes should be disqualified. but then no one would pass and the whole using passes as a tiebreak would be scrapped. maybe they should just fix it behind the scenes to ensure that anyone who passes can't win.

anyway, i'm off to play some tilt free poker in my leather jacket (see previous post)

Monday, June 29, 2009

advice for staying cool in a heatwave

due to the "record breaking temperatures" due this week, when it might reach 30 degrees today and 32 later in the week (2 records in a week! must be global warming), here are some tips i have picked up from the radio and bbc website today:

1)wear cool clothes. as such, i will be wearing a leather jacket all week.
2)Avoid over-doing physical exertion. Reaching for a cold drink ought to raise enough of a sweat as it is.

as a sidenote, it rained on my way home today.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

ups and downs

last three days

back to level for the month, though i got enough points for the $2.4k bonus and will probably get the other $184 tomorrow or the day after.

i have realised i am still bad at controlling my emotions and tilting away lots of money. i have found two things i do when i tilt
1) call out of position with very pretty but bad cards (eg56o, j9s etc)
2) call 3 bets with pretty much everything i raised with

today's calm may have been aided by my trip to the golf range. i'm not a great fan of golf, but whacking a ball really far (or not that far in my case) is very therapeutic.

anyway, i've checked my stats for this year and realised i have been losing lots this year at poker and if it wasnt for the bonus's i would be down lots. this is bad.
i need to be more calm and relaxed. i can't build a golf range in my room so self hypnosis is the way forward i think.

i would like to say i agree with br000se about mj. and i find it strange that some people i know are fed up of his songs being played on the radio (after 2days lol) "cos it's from 20years ago." terrible logic.

good to see i'm capable of making friends with retards. it's like i'm giving a little back to society.
also these retard friends do not have any money in their house. i mean, i understand not wanting thousands or hundreds lying around, but literally not even a penny in cash! going out always requires going via cashpoint(ATM) if unable to pay by card. i explained that this is not evolutionarily acceptable as if they lived in the 3rd world (or lower) they would not survive.

speaking of evolution, i went to take a shower the other day in my bathroom which is covered in white tiles (a traditional english decoration for bathrooms). i noticed a HUGE white moth. according to my biology lessens in school this means:
that there is no soot and lots of white things outside for it to be camouflaged against (no, not in london),
moth is a genetic mutant (x-moths?), or
moths are evolving to live in houses.
i took it outside obviously as i did not want to shower with it, and wonder how it will do in the green of nature. and whether it will reproduce or if the other moths will treat it like an outcast.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

cause and effect

sometimes it can be pretty hard to tell cause and effect apart. and often this goes against the generally accepted view of society.

for example, 'white van man' is almost always a horrible driver, but are they horrible due to the driving every day, or does the job attract horrific drivers?

sometimes, it's even hard to tell after the event. time henman was a loser (he did well for a brit, but didn't really win anything of note). but was he a loser before he started playing, or did not winning make him a loser. please note this is a highly imperfect example but was the first thing i thought of with the tennis on the telly.

i also decided to play some pokers recently. been having awful sessions on stars after a good start this month and found myself $1.5k down in the mouth after 4 losing sessions in a row. my session yesterday involved 140 pairs preflop, and 3 sets on the flop. and i pretty much never fold pairs pre. so that was pretty horrific. but today made up for it and i had my best winning session in a while finishing over $1.5k up tonight. getting real tired after not sleeping much this week and had to stop before i lost all focus.

this was my favourite hand tonight. villain has $200, i cover:

little blind: posts small blind $1
massive blind: posts big blind $2

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Jd 9d]
Donkey: folds
UTG+1: folds
poor villain: raises $4 to $6
Hero: raises $12 to $18
little blind: folds
massive blind: folds
poor villain: calls $12

*** FLOP *** [7h 2d Tc]
poor villain: checks
Hero: bets $22
poor villain: calls $22

*** TURN *** [7h 2d Tc] [7s]
poor villain: checks
Hero: checks

*** RIVER *** [7h 2d Tc 7s] [5d]
poor villain: checks
Hero: checks

*** SHOW DOWN ***
poor villain: shows [3s 2s] (two pair, Sevens and Deuces)
Hero: mucks hand
poor villain collected $80 from pot

Monday, June 22, 2009

the hangover (film)

i went to see this. it was quite funny. and made me want to return to vegas. however, i also saw something in the cinema to which i did not know how to react. i was truly stunned beyond any other stunning i have previously encountered.

(don't worry, no spoilers)
the film ends with these blokes finding a camera with pictures of their evening. you see these pictures during the credits. it's essentially the ending of the movie where you get closure. the couple sitting in front of me LEFT THE CINEMA AS THIS BEGAN. they knew it was coming cos everyone knew as everybody else stayed. except for them. i was gobsmacked.

it's like watching every episode of 24 except for the last episode of each season. or like going to university for 3 years and not doing your exams. awe inspiring shockingness.

(boring poker/life stuff now)
poker - lost monies today, can't tell if i played bad or ran bad. though it doesn't really matter.
up to 148k fpps and need 161.5k for all the bonuses.

not being doing weights or eating well but added 3 kilos of weight (7 pounds). 6 more kilos to go till target.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

lazy poker player

and very lazy am i. in fact, i took a whole week off just now cos i couldn't be bothered to play. but the other night i was in town so i went to the empire casino that so many talk about to check it out and played a couple of hours of poker (ie about 30 hands) before leaving to catch the last train home. except i got to the station about one minute too late (and it wasn't even midnight!) so i had to walk down the road and catch the bus. i didn't go to the toilet in the casino as i rushed to catch the train. definitely a hugely -ev move that i probably won't learn from. though i do know if i ever go again i will most definitely drive as the night buses are always full of crazy drunken puking folk.

went back to betfair previous few weeks (60% rakeback offer!) after playing like a semi retard (no change there) on stars, and am pleased to have run highly fortuitous. like 40bb/100 over 4k hands. the problem with betfair is that the software and support is so so bad you have to be a retard to play there, which is ironically also good news cos it means all the players are terrible.
luckily, i am semi retarded so they let me play.

alas, stars have also got one of those instant cash offers this month, which is at the same rate as the supernova bonus so i need to get another 20k or so fpps this month (around 6-7k hands), which i want to do in about a week. so thats 1k hands a day for a week. easy. i thought. except i've gone back to 6 tabling at most instead of nine. i realised that playing more is seriously detrimental to my balance even though it was great for vpps and meant i can play less hours, money is obviously the primary factor. so i will stop that. amazingly i have been losing on stars this year which is shocking. shocking. well, not that shocking.

buying a house is still my aim for the year so basically i need a bunch of 10k months to finish the year. i cant really see that happening at the moment, barring winning a massive tournament. maybe i should play some?

also started watching house. tis a brilliant show and am highly addicted. i have been watching too many episodes per day which means i will finish it really soon, and then curse myself for not watching them at a slower rate. doesn't make much sense cos they take the same amount of hours to watch but i know when i finish it, i will basically be wanting more more more

Monday, June 15, 2009

2 tips and elbow fights

tip #1. if you meet an old friend, don't tell them they look old
tip #2. don't wake up at 330am, wear a 7.31kg backpack, and go running for a bus in the morning.

i arrived at the bus station 2 minutes late, and 10 seconds from heart failure. but the airport bus was later than me. 7 long minutes later it turns up, clearly delighted that it made me run for nothing. it's a one hour journey to the airport, and i'd left myself 30mins to get there before the gate closed - get through security, travel delays etc. down to 21 minutes now.
bus driver lets on people with the right ticket (like me). usually other drivers just let everyone on together but no, not our special driver. he seems to think there are a lot of people at the stop (~12 left). so he does the sensible thing and starts counting the number of free seats on his bus. he gets off the bus, and lets two people on. he then gets back on the bus to count the number of seats available. and lets two people on.
he repeats this process like an ocd riddled noah. 15 mins of buffer time remain when we finally depart.

i arrived in latvia, complete with the knowledge that 1 lat (what kind of a lazy currency name is that?) is worth more than one pound according to exchange rates - though obviously stuff is cheaper there than england. the cause for concern is that i treat foreign money like poker chips. play money chips if i'm being honest. and having them worth more than actual money is not a good thing for my bank balance.

as for lativa, in common with most non-british countries, personal space seems to be non existent. i sat down on my plane home, and some latvian dude sat down next to me. he planted his arm on the shared armrest taking up almost it's entirety. this would not have bothered me. except his arm then continued to move in my direction beyond the edge of the armrest into my chair space. he did not arrest his advancement until his elbow was firmly in contact with my forearm. this was war.

i noticed he had left free a small area of armrest between the chair and his arm. a schoolboy mistake. i cunningly placed my elbow there. this was effectively taking all four corners of an othello board, leaving my opponent helpless. as i impinged slowly on his space, advancing towards complete armrest domination he began to realise the futility of his situation, and how he had been outflanked in a manoeuvre napolean would have been proud of. he tried to retaliate by leaning toward me and sticking his face as close to the window as possible without touching me, but i just pretended to be asleep when he did that.
game over nikolais.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

the problem with other people

before i start, i would like to say rubbishatpoker's blog is funny. i can't seem to comment there but his tales are well written and entertaining. i would like to think his name is rubbi, but maybe that's just me.

the problem with other people is that for the most part, most of them, cannot comprehend that you have different thoughts to them. yes, they all think that they're aware that everyone is unique etc, but when it actually comes down to it, people don't actually act as though they realise it.

for example, i dislike the sounds that people usually make when they eat. i use dislike in its kindest sense of the word. in fact, it can make me want to do crazy violent things. my words cannot express it very well. luckily i have the internet. and there are other crazy people like me who have expressed it much better.

my point, however, is that no one actually understands these reactions if they have not experienced it themselves. they dismiss you as crazy and tell you to just stop. as if you could just stop if you wanted.

i hypothesise that this reaction is normal. almost anything that someone hasn't actually experienced is generally dismissed by that someone. alcoholism, gambling addictions etc. it also occurs in much more subtle situations, such as not understanding other people's actions.

however, when you play chess/poker the idea of the game becomes to think like your opponent. if you just think what you would do in their situation, you will never win. not because your opponents aren't retarded, but because you are assuming they think along your logical thought processes and as we all know they are unique so don't think like us. except we still expect them to do so. when people make bad calls at poker if they win, you get angry, if they lose, you laugh at their failure. still without even thinking about why they made that call, everyone dismisses it as they are bad/stupid. in fact, they had their reasons for making the call; it may be that you will never know those reasons but that's not an excuse to avoid thinking about trying to work it out.

anyways, i shall leave you with some quotes i found online of other people who 'dislike' noisy eaters. they're pretty funny imo. and the last one illustrates my point.

I find the worst instances are the ones where someone is chomping away at, say, breakfast cereal really quickly, and breathing in and out loudly through their noses. Those kinds of shenanigans make me tense up with uncontrollable rage and want to hold the culprit's nose and mouth shut until they stop breathing and choke to death on half-chewed cornflakes.

Who'd have thought eh? Egg! They can even make egg sound noisy. Fuck it, I'm going to risk the criminal record, and give them a tracheotomy.

One word.... GULPERS!!! Even the word is disgusting but the animals that do this should be put down! Is it really necessary? I have eyes, I can see they're having a drink but I don't need to fucking hear it!!! Also slurping tea or coffee because its too hot. There is no excuse for this, its too fucking hot so don't drink it!! Now, getting onto the subject of crisps or crunchy snacks. I appreciate they aren't the quietest of foods but jesus to the pigs in my office have to crunch as loudly as they possibly can?? Its like a secret competition between them all who can crunch the fucking loudest!! If you lot hear of a massacre in Aylesbury its probably me that has shot the dirty, rotten, gulping, slurping, crunching BASTARDS!

I never could understand my wife's intolerance to me chewing food, clanking fork or spoon,sniffing,coughing etc. Now that I have Hyperacusis,tinnitus and sound sensitivity, I understand her and leave her to eat in peace at the proper times. It is ironic how things happen.

Sunday, June 07, 2009


i used to care when i got bad beated. and i used to feel guilty when i bad beated someone.

now i just find it funny when people who have played poker for more than 2/3 years care at all about either. i just play, click buttons, try to have fun, not make too many mistakes and not get upset by the mistakes that i make.

obviously it helps when you're putting horrific beats on your opponents rather than the other way round. especially when it sends them into despair. and more so when it's to the point of everyone at the table quitting cos they think you're a bot. i kid you's not.

i'm gonna try to get back on my regime of weights 5 days a week, twice a day for a combined total of at least one hour from tomorrow morning. i expect to have failed by tuesday morning.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

that's a pretty cool photo.

i've lost patience to play tournaments. i was in a stars one this weekend and about half way through i just got bored. i was chip leader early on and basically went from top 5 to out in about 10 minutes. need to correct that before i play any more tournaments.

earlier today a lorry driver tried to kill me. i survived by about 1 inch. which reminds me of imperial measurements. they are insane. completely. i can understand counting in binary, denary (10) or 12s (it's a great number for counting apparently. it divides well)

but imperial measurements. who thought it sounded good? 1 inch is split into 16ths. 12 inch's in a foot. 3 feet in a yard. 220 yards in a furlong. 8 furlongs in a mile.

i think i've mentioned before that the worst instance of this was that of the gallon, another stupid imperial measurement. It was copied by the americans and then changed so they have their own gallons which are different to ours. taking something stupid and making it stupider is the opposite of evolution.

which brings me nicely to my next point. why do dogs drool? i had one slobber all over my new jeans today. well, my friend told me it was a dog, but i've been horse racing a couple of times and i'm pretty sure it was a horse. and not one of those small horses. it was gigantic. a little like this:

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

laugh in the faces of spiders

good name for a band i think.

also a true story. in the past 24 hours i have twice been attacked by these eight legged creatures (that might as well be coloured in red black and white)

the first went into my shoe. obviously i wasn't wearing it (the shoe or the spider) at the time. this is one of my biggest fears. having a venomous spider hiding in your shoe, waiting for you to put your foot in so it can bite you. luckily i saw it, and it wasnt venemous, and it's also no longer any sort of threat to humanity.

the second spider attacked me whilst i was in a park, sitting on a bench. i fought back as it crawled along my shoulder by brushing it off in a manner that i can only describe as very manly. the spider however, left some chocolate stains on my t shirt. on both sleeves. my friend using house-like powers of deduction said it was probably the ice cream sandwich that was the cause of the chocolate stains. i agreed because even if it wasn't true, i would much rather believe his story than any other alternative.

todays thought is that it must be annoying to drive a police car without the sirens on. the driver in front of you is almost always scared to do more than the speed limit plus a little bit, so you end up driving slowly everywhere. and being forced to drive slowly is one of the greatest punishments known to mankind.
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