it was a sunny evening

on a short midsummers night. the day had been spent like every other of late, watching all the games of football my telly could throw at me, and i was satisfied.

what better way than to round off the last 30 hours of my weekend than to include some poker.

oh what a mistake that turned out to be. not only did i have a remarkable lack of patience, i was blissfully unaware of the cold red mist that has descended upon me. less than 24 hours, and 2 sessions of poker later i had shot much of my online account, somewhere upwards of $7k. both sessions started off badly, got worse before i recovered. both times i considered quitting (at -$2k and -$1.2k) and both times i thought of soldiering on to win some monies back. and both times a downward spiral ensued, so fast that it had all turned to shit before i could notice and stop.

in the past, my newest biggest ever loss always annoyed me greatly that sleeping that night was almost as difficult as playing again immediately. and this was by far by biggest loss in a 12 hour period.

so come sunday night i decided the best cause of action was obviously to fire up the tables. expecting disaster i managed a breakeven session (thanks to two terrible calls by me towards the end, i would won otherwise!)

things i've learnt:
1) i still tilt like a coke machine being attacked by thirsty chavs. the coke machine now has cctv to 'protect' it, but that's only a deterrent, and even then it sometimes turns itself off.
2) i no longer care as much about money in my online roll. this is good as i can sleep, but bad, because i should care more than i do to prevent losing
3) i really really really have to try to not look at winnings/losses during a session
4) folding = winning money.
5) games are pretty bad now on stars outside of weekends. 
6) the recession is hitting everyone hard. crows, which are intelligent, have begun to attack pigeons. i know this because i saw it happen a couple of days ago. i do not, however, know why. i saw it fly after it's victim, landing everywhere it had just been, before finally nailing it's victim with it's claws and taking a chunk of feathers/flesh.
7) not everything i learn can be related to poker.

i had to send off a voucher for cashback; due by Thursday i sent it on Monday. It went to a freepost address and got me thinking. what class does freepost post fit under? i hoped it was first to make sure it gets there fast. but maybe it was 2nd class which would take longer. but how does second class take longer? do the postmen look at the 2nd class stamp, laugh at the people not wanting to pay more and just throw it to the side of the sorting office, purposefully delaying it by a day or two. if they could just put the post on the same truck as the first class post then it would all arrive at the same time.
except then you wouldn't be able to get second class post. so it seems to me that they delay it on purpose for no real reason, other than to punish people for not paying more. or to ensure people pay more to send it first class. either way, something doesn't quite add up.

8) i have weird thoughts.