Wednesday, October 28, 2009

sum forty one

just finished the easiest hands of poker i've had for a while, continuing a recent upswing following a $4k downswing. lots of swings but no roundabouts in sight.

more painfully than that emotional turmoil (which i am sadly used to) was a fat lip i got from football. as i mentioned last time it was unusually painful for usually i am impervious to it, but this time i got cut! foolishly i got home and following the ritual of the blowing of the nose, ate a post match orange which wasn't sensible as the juicy acid flavour caused some immense pain to me.
this theme of painful eating got me thinking. it's a great way to cure fat people. instead of stomach stapling, just make it painful to eat. i'm not saying cut their lips every two weeks or punch them in the face. unless they were horrible people in which case it's a two birds one stone situation.

one of the things that made me laugh (and therefore hurt) this week was i've seen lots of motorbikes driving as if they were cars. when they stay in the middle of a lane of traffic instead of zooming past everyone, this bemuses me greatly. i understand that sometimes it's safer, but really, half the attraction of the motorbike is that you never have to sit in any traffic.

that's it for today, check out jethro's last post. made me laugh .and cause me pain. but it was worth it.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

the times, they are a-changing

in the uk, the clocks changed tonight. the good way. an extra hour in bed! except i am still awake. which means i don't get an extra hour's sleep. in fact, i get an extra hour awake and then the same short sleep which means i'm gonna be more tired than normal tomorrow. this is pretty bad. i shall make sure i don't do this again in future.

i did intend to have another mammoth session of playing cards but my head hurts. it's been hurting since i played football on monday and got the ball shot in my face (almost sounds dirty). i've had a slightly fat lip since then meaning talking/laughing/eating is really painful as well as having a pain in my nose. not even sure if this is causing my massive headache or if that's from somewhere else.

i've also come to the conclusion that when i become a bum in 3 months time i will have to become a pro poker player for a few months whilst i start up some alternate revenue streams. this should motivate me to play properly and start playing some 5/10 assuming i hit my 10k goal by the end of the year.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


there are are few types of people that haven't yet been classified by mankind.
i may or may not have mentioned sidewalkers before. these people cannot walk in a straight line. they very slowly bend their walk into where you are walking, forcing you further and further to the side, and into any objects such as lamp posts and walls. they do not realise they are doing this and if you come across them should make them aware of their illness.

the second type yet to be classified are ruiners. these people will tell you the details and when possible, inform you explicitly of the funniest moments in movies/tv shows you are about to watch, knowing full well you are about to watch them.

just before i went to see bruno, one of these ruiners started telling me about the funniest parts. W. T. F. why would you do that? it's like going to a restaurant and eating someone else's dessert. worse still, i'd literally just met them (friend of a friend) so i was unable to say "stop. please do not ruin the film i am about to watch. i'm amazed your ego is so big that you think that your retelling of a scene from a movie will be better than when i watch the scene."

last week i was struck by another ruiner. before i'd even noticed he'd outlined the whole of an episode of heroes i was about to watch.

i do not understand these people. basic etiquette states that you ask for permission before ruining jokes/endings to films etc in case someone hasn't watched it. let along ruining endings for films you know they are about to watch.

i seem to be running pretty bad with everything of late. today, i let numerous people out in front of me whilst driving (well, two), and pulled to the side of the road in a narrow street to let people pass (three) and out of those five situations i did not even receive one thank you wave/flash of the headlights.

a few months ago i received a nod instead of a thank you wave from an oncoming vehicle. bizarre as it was, i think it might catch on. i will be nodding instead of thank you waving where possible, i suggest you do the same. it will catch on.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

i've made a terrible mistake

playing awful and running bad means i'm now making a loss since september. somehow lost about $3k in the last couple of days. oops.
can't really be bothered to type much else. mostly cos i'm hungry. priorities, eh?

Friday, October 16, 2009

new friends

i think i need to get some. i may have mentioned this before but seriously, some of my friends are such hypocritical turds.
when booking a holiday that costs over £1500, worrying about paying £30 more for the hotel than you wanted shouldn't really be a big issue, especially when you've just bought a new car. but somehow it is.
and then to abuse me for not worrying about £30 because i play poker, or i saved money from somewhere else really is a wanker thing to do.
but why is this hyprocritical? because i get abuse from them for being tight!
and i also get abuse when i buy anything (and i do mean anything) and told "good day at poker. eh?" in that looking down at me for gambling way.

obviously it's a small problem to say to someone after 10+ years to say, yeah, i don't like you. maybe i should download some stuff from their house and call the music industry.

Monday, October 12, 2009

horrific play

i amaze myself sometimes with how bad i can play. last night was a shining example of this. for once i wasn't bored when playing 2k hands, and this was whilst playing a couple of soft tourney's on stars but even this didn't prevent me setting money on fire.
made the money in one of the two tournaments that i played in for a slight loss in them on the evening. but the cash games play was truly car crash horrific.

i seem to have this mentality where i think no matter how much i am losing i can just go on a huge upswing and win it all back in maybe 30mins or so. after all, i read about lots of other people doing so. but i don't think that's ever happened for me! maybe i'm just a bit rubbish.

i was gonna post some of the worst hands but they're so embarrassing it would be akin to being caught hosting an party of strippers in your basement all dressed up in nazi uniforms in the 21st century. when your dad was chief fascist in the uk during the second world war. (disclaimer: any likeness to real events is purely coincidental)

on a lighter (or possibly darker?) note, on one of my drives i finally remembered to take a photo of possibly the scariest shop i have ever seen. my mind boggles as to what could possibly occupy the insides, but i currently lack the courage to go in and find out.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

giving up

not i!

many others appear to have retired from the anonymous world of blogging. fear not, i still am pestered by thoughts so odd only here can i release them into the world.

for example, tesco petrol stations have this great thing where you can pay for the petrol at the pump (instead of having to walk into the shop and queueue). i treat this like a pit stop and see how fast i can finish. there is however no real time pressure.
then yesterday, my friend was needing to inflate his car tyres. some petrol stations give you free air, others charge you. he finally found one, and though it charged, he still needed the air (apparently air is like like sex, you only really miss it when you're not getting any). with these ones that pay they only give you a couple of minutes. he seemed to think that he didn't have enough time to do all the tyres. i pointed out that it's done on purpose to really make it feel like a pit stop.

i was also struck down by a cold recently. except i wasn't really struck down but just mildly infected. this did however lead to much nose blowing. which gets real boring real fast. i would often just touch my nose with my hands to check it wasn't falling off.
i worry that people i share on office with now think i do drugs up my nose, because that's what i would think if i saw someone who didn't actually look ill touch their nose repeatedly.

house has just started the new series on telly. i think this is my favourite program of the moment. writing and acting is brilliant in it. unlike 'the invention of lying'
which i really wanted to like but really didn't. flawed and not funny would be my review. though there was one magnificently funny moment towards the end so i would rate it 3/20

here's a great song, the kind that also sounds really great live, whilst i go and look for a house. (to live in)

Friday, October 02, 2009

an iphone app

i might start a new blog (in addition to this one). it's a long story. i'll shorten it for you.

i might have had a hand in helping to make an app.
go to this blog to have a link to the site

tell your friends, play it, let me know what you think...
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