so this was today. ups and downs and ups again. this puts me levelish for the month after some depressing stuff yesterday.
in fact, yesterday was so bad i spent time looking at my stats and play etc to find out where i was doing bad.
i realise that lots of the bad i do is mental. after the play i can see what is wrong, thus, i need to be able to learn to see it at the time.
being objective whilst playing is my current aim. i'm not good at sticking to things (eating lots and learning russian isn't going well, although that does mean im not a fat incoherent dude just yet - every cloud...)
anyways, this reminded me of a funny. cos i went to a therapist who told me i needed to relax and be more selfish. a week before i'd been on a (diabolical) management course in bonny scotland and the one piece of constructive criticism - which we had to refer to as developmental feedback in case the word criticism offended someone - was that i was too relaxed.
this was an interesting dilemma. take the word of a professional, or the collective decision from a group of people. i think i read somewhere that often groups tend to the right result, but there are probably exceptions, and i imagine one such exception to be the group one that i was stuck in. a group of retards. being only semi retarded (or maybe 70%) i guess they took me in as one of their own. but i digress. and i shall digress some more. another thing i read, was that in a group of people, all heading through a narrowing, as intuition would suggest, the best place to be in the crowd is at the sides.
ive drawn a technical diagram in case it wasn't clear:
don't say you never learn anything coming here
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