offside!

so the offside rule was invented back in the day probably by a pe teacher. noticing that there was one slow kid who used to just stand in front of the goal to try and score as many tap ins as possible the offside rule was invented to put a stop to this football killing tactic.

then along game michelle pratini and sepp batter who decided that they want to make a name for themselves. and thus the interfering with football rule was brought into action. this says, unless you are interfering with play, you're not offisde.
off course, being the retards that they are, they forgot to define what interfering is, and left it up to the discretion of the ref. or the linesman. they're not sure.

so what happens is that no one really knows whats going on. barcleona tonight have (probably unintentionally) shown a great tactic that should be implemented more by managers. i have drawn diagrams because it's easier than writing a thousand words.



the player in the middle is offside when the initial ball is played, but isn't flagged for it cos the ball isn't going directly to him



so now when the ball goes to him, he's onside since he's now behind the play.


what i would like to see is bendetnener standing on the penalty spot the entire game, goal hanging, like the lazy 8 year old looking for a tap in. play a long ball over the top down the wing for walcott to run on to. being faster than light he will surely get there first. as he then turns to run in on goal he can either shoot or pass to bendtentner to try to score.

surely this tactic can than be repeated by england at the world cup.

then the anti goal hanging version of the offside rule may return. removing any interfering by both footballers trying to score tap ins and bureaucratic dinosaurs.