great idea

this is what i'm gonna do this week.

japanese

i got a business card today. i briefly glanced at it without paying much attention. a few minutes later i had another look and then realised it was all in japanese. i was pretty sure i could read it early so i thought i'm either hallucinating, or i've learnt japanese without realising.
disappointingly, what actually happened, was that it had english on one side, and japanese on the other.

got this business card at a meeting today which meant i had to cut my hair yesterday. not looking like a tramp is a good thing, but i mentioned it to the hairdresser and he spent the entire haircut trying to sell me on how important haircuts are before big meetings. he didn't need to though, i was already getting my hair cut with them.

i've mentioned a few times previously of my despair with other drivers and their retarded/selfish tendencies, but recently i think i saw one of the worst driving decisions ever. i undertook this person who was driving a pick up truck in the middle lane. obviously no one else was in the slow lane for miles, and he'd also just been overtaken in the fast line. and so, with no other cars behind him, and no slower cars in front of him he responded to my act by moving into the fast lane. that was a conscious decision he made. i would like to buy one of those LED signs where you can write what you want on it and have it in my rear window so that i can give out personal messages of abuse. except i obviously won't do that because like most fantasies, the imagination will be better than the reality.

anyway, finally found a house to live in over new years for after i come back from japan. it's only temporary but its very nice. guy that owns it is going away for a bit and he seems nice enough (though it's always hard to tell!).

oh and yeah, lost today. kk < qq aipf at 2/4 and 44 < aa all in on turn with kq46 board at 3/6. probably because i did a cash out earlier this week :D
though hoping to play lots on this weekend.

but how much do you spend?

some questions i have decided to ask people i meet who tell me what their jobs are (perhaps with some gentle coaxing from me, like, 'what do you do for a living?'):

1)how much do you earn? (repeatedly)
and if they give any sort of figure
1a) but how much did you spend to make that much?

2)are you addicted to it?
no
2a)how often do you go?
every day
so you are addicted!!

3)do you talk to people on the phone at all?
yes
3a)but how do you know they are telling the truth if you can't see their face?

4)can you teach me how to do your job?

5)how do you know your company aren't gonna go bust and not pay you or even just fire you?

if they mention anything they've ever bought
6)good day at work, eh? (with overacted sarcasm)

7)are you any good at it?

8)are you gonna be on tv soon?
no
8a) oh, i guess you aren't any good at your job.


then if poker comes up and they ask me any of these questions i can legally punch them in the duodenum

---------------------------------------

i also found out about something called the Dunning Kruger effect. It's funny, as it says people who think they are good at something are invariably bad as they haven't mastered it to a good enough level to realise they're bad. whilst people who are good at stuff realise there is always much more to learn.

which puts my last post into perspective

i'm terrible

at pretty much everything.
i would like to be the best at something.
one thing i'm best at is writing this blog. however, the is counteracted by the fact that i am also the worst at writing this blog

i'm gonna try and find something else that i am best (and not also) worst at.

multi tabling

leads to misclicks.
here is exhibit A
playing 9 tables i misclick preflop calling an utg raise from the small blind with faecal matter which, like a caterpillar, somehow turned into a buttefly.

Seat 1: bb ($400 in chips)
Seat 3: villain ($464 in chips)
Seat 4: co ($225.15 in chips)
Seat 5: jenson ($776 in chips)
Seat 6: hero ($388 in chips)
hero: posts small blind $2
bb: posts big blind $4

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to hero [Jc 6h]
villain: raises $12 to $16
co: folds
jenson: folds
hero: calls $14
bb: folds

*** FLOP *** [Jh 7c 6c]
hero: checks
villain: bets $32
hero: raises $60 to $92
villain: raises $356 to $448 and is all-in
hero: calls $280 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($76) returned to villain

*** TURN *** [Jh 7c 6c] [3s]

*** RIVER *** [Jh 7c 6c 3s] [3h]

*** SHOW DOWN ***
hero: shows [Jc 6h] (two pair, Jacks and Sixes)
villain: mucks hand
hero collected $778 from pot

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $780 | Rake $2
Board [Jh 7c 6c 3s 3h]
Seat 1: bb (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: villain mucked [Js Ts]

obviously it helps when the villain is a moran.

i've been outdrawing lots of people recently and used to feel guilty for it. i've since learnt not to care when i outdraw people, nor when they outdraw me.

one thing i like about poker is that you can get completely caught up in it. escapism is something a lot of people look for, i've always previously found it in things like computer games, but aside from improving eye-hand co-ordination they're pretty much a waste of time. poker not only lets me forget about everything for a few hours i also make some money at the same time. but now i have to go back to the real world and find a house.

ballcups

this guy is mental. trying to play about 2 brazillion hands of poker in a week to become wealthier, probably at the cost of any remaining sanity.
whilst i struggle to get another 17kvpps this guy has to do 7100 per day.

on the plus side it means i get to go outdoors and enjoy the hilarity of every day life. for example i've always wondered how bus drivers became such horrible drivers. did bad drivers get the job, or did the job train them to be bad? yesterday i learnt, that they in fact get training to be terrible. i was following a bus with L plates, where the driver gets lessons. he passed another bus and they both stopped for a chat, completely oblivious to anyone else on the road with places to go. like me.

i've also been recently amused by the use of the word quantum. for many years since it's conception Planck it's been used in science to mean small. as in the smallest possible amount of something.

then in the 80s quantum leap came along, a great show with sam beckett travelling through time. ever since then people have used quantum as a prefix to mean something huge. yet whenever i see it i instinctively use the small meaning and laugh at people talking how they've made a quantum leap in something or other.

i like photos. i started including some here on this here blog. mostly of hot wimmen. but i thought it's time i got serious, and below is my computer set up. i consulted some feng shui guides in order to organise things to boost my calmness and clear thinking. on that note, it's back to the grind.

TIME

i woke up t'other morning and my old, glow in the dark, (and possibly radioactive) analogue watch told me it was the 15th of november.


it looks almost nothing like that, but more like that then about 99% of other watches that exist.

seeing as thats a boring pic, here's a nicer one.



i had no reason to believe that it was lying, so i went about my business believing it was indeed the 15th. it wasn't. it was the 14th.
after setting the time on watches which have the date hidden behind quarter past the hour, i've always wondered how they know whether it's morning or afternoon. especially as it's never been wrong. till saturday morning.
sunday morning rolled around and i figured i should set it straight. by the afternoon it was telling me it was now the 16th. it wasn't. i'm not sure why my watch has gone rogue, but i can't ever believe it again.

i had 3 other things to blog about and i figured to prevent myself forgetting about them i would use a mnemonic. which was mdmm, h, p.
i remembered the mnemonic!
i forget what all those letters stand for.

anyway, it's late and i have to start waking up in the morning before 9 o clock regularly, and eat more food for breakfast. bizarrely (or not?) that always makes me hungrier for the rest of the day.

other point of note is played some poker. kinda struggling to find time to play during the week and was intent on playing 10k hands every weekend but that looks unlikely. managed about 7.5k this weekend. and a decent profit. was thinking of putting graph in end of year goals instead of just figures. not sure if i care enough but it might be more interesting for you?
had to revise my hand goal target, which is really just how many i think i need to play to clear the vpps.
also hit my 10k target already so will probably revise that to about 15k. or 100k. aim for the stars, right?

stolen joke

Books are great! But not if the acting in your head is shit.

euphamism of the day

i may be a little late in the discovery of this but 'balloon knot' makes me laugh. and then feel a bit sick. and then laugh again. ha.

in other news my fitness regime is as fickle as a woman's opinion. i have added a couple of new exercises (i misspelt that word and my computer tried to correct it to excelsior, a commonly underused word) to my regime. one is the infamous one legged squat. which is exactly what it sounds like. for extra difficulty, conduct this from a step so that you can sit lower than otherwise humanly possible. this are also good for improving balance. the second is essentially standing on tiptoes. start from tiptoes, come down very slowly and as soon as your heels touch the ground quickly rise again. feet can be either pointed forwards or charlie chaplin style. these are really easy for about 0-20, but once i reach about 50 the searing pain through my entire legs remind me why i prefer eating ice cream to 'working out.'

my other long running theme is the learning of russian which is still going much slower than i would like. it's pretty tough for a semi retarded individual like myself to learn new things like languages, but it's made even more difficult when the language is fully retarded (and by this i mean impossible!) it's definitely worth it though, on the off chance i meet kournikova



i once thought i saw her on my flight to kiev but it was probably just a very good imposter. i can't remember if i mentioned her before but this lady was gorgeous. i followed her up the stairs on to the plane, but sadly she was not in the seat next to mine. the look of absolute delight on the ~16 year old kid who realised she was about to sit next to him was almost as memorable as the look of shock to his reaction shown by his mum's face.

volume

not in a maths way, but a poker way. realised if i want the $2k bonus (which would come with a $2.4k bonus from fpps) i need to get my ass in gear and play lots more.
last weekend i played on sat night till 8am, and a bit more on sunday reaching almost 9k hands on the weekend! sadly my brain was against me and this resulted in my paying about $2k for the luxury of playing. almost not worth going for a $2k bonus.

had a bit of break and sorted my brain out, and thursday managed to play a bit and win about $1k. this weekend i've managed only 6k hands but won about $4.5k.

usually i find it hard to play when winning as i'm happy with keeping the money before i get coolered and return much of it back. but these days i really do my best to only focus on making the correct decision, trying not to look at how much i'm up/down in $ or ev etc.

also i know i have to reach about 80k hands to clear the vpp to get my bonus which is my real motivator. i've played enough that i would usually be able to make it in the next two months but i'm going to japan for 2 weeks and i'm busy in the last week of december so have at best 5 weeks of play left, and more likely four.
so i've started 9 tabling again (this time without horrific results) and i hope with 60hours of play i'll reach the bonus. whether i make i there remains to be seen. i would say it's currently a 50/50 shot.

also, i reached $5k so have started some 2/4 aswell, which seemed very soft over this weekend.

anyway, with all these winnings all that's left to do is buy a slap chop

the promised photo

i doubt it lives up to the many day wait (it's not nekkid ladies covered in chocolate sauce aka 2 girls one fountain), but i'd never seen one like this. i laughed unexpectedly causing me to ironically pee all over the toilet seat.

i went up an escalator today at a tube station and wondered what it would be like if i fell over backwards. everyone would have a nice comfortable fall onto the person behind. except for the last person for whom it might hurt.

to reward myself for such great thinking i purchased a huge bag of jelly beans from a pick and mix in town. when i was a kid i remember being told in the science museum that it was better for you teeth to eat lots of sweets at once, rather than spread it out over time. i've taken this to heart ever since and often consume kilo's of chocolate at once because it's better for my teeth.

crack

i managed to play about 8k hands on the weekend. sadly i played like a deluded crack whore (is there any other type?) although hopefully my generosity won't go unnoticed by those people who control karma and they'll throw a torrent of (attractive) naked ladies, money bills and chocolate covered pancakes into my face for the foreseeable future.
will update the ever depressing year goals on the right later.

it appears i have to go to the british library this week and whilst i'm in the area i'm gonna pop in to selfridges, even though they are many miles apart, for i hear they have a collection of pick and mix jelly beans. this will definitely be the highlight of the week. the highlight of last week was a photo i took in a friends house which i shall post as soon as i can be bothered to stick my phone in my computer.