hold me back

i've consciously made myself aware of the thing that has been holding me back in the pokers recently.
ego/pride
wanting to prove to myself and everyone else at the table that i am better than them. this is in general a terrible human trait and i will work on ridding myself of this. i never used to have this, but i think it has definitely surfaced this year in my life in general, and on the tables.

i do think it's great how much i can learn about myself from poker, what would otherwise take many many moons to learn.

i am writing this down and will also write this down and staple it to my monitor to remind myself of this. especially after dropping $3.5k at 1/2 at the weekend.

i'm going away for a week and next week will hopefully have some improved results. i would ordinarily say getting back into profit for the month will be good, but anything less than $5k will be a failure imo

anyway, it could always be worse, i could own a BMW