so

i went and bought a graphics card anyways, and it hasn't helped at all. It does allow me to multitable on befair with no lag, but it wont run a hud at the same time.

i think young br0000se is right and a new computer will be my new year present to myself.

i also got a funny call yesterday. from a man in a thick indian accent pretending to be from 3. this is the first time i've had a problem understanding english in a thick indian accent but from what i made out he called me, and then wanted to check my security details so he knew who he was talking to. i pointed out that he has called me and i would like to run some security checks on him first. sadly, he didn't understand my point and after about 2 mins of going back and forth he said something like "this is going nowhere" so i hung up. i laugh in the global hidden face of 3!

in other events i went to helsinki for a couple of days, and can confirm that finnish women are a very hot cross between eastern european's and scandinavians and importantly, they are friendly like the scandi's. thus, even though i didnt see the sun in three days, it was highly enjoyable.

pokernews, after playing like a tard, i'll be happy if i get back into profit this month! i think i've cured the lose 4/5buyins when sitting down disease which i've had all month, and i must say it makes things easier. lost a sick huge pot with the 2nd nut flush against table idiot's nutflush and made a couple of other bad mistakes yesterday, and still turned a 3 buy in profit! wooo

computer troubles

my computer cannot cope with doing one thing at once.

skype call, CPU =100%
online radio, CPU = 100%
HUD when playing poker = computer freezes

having opened up my computer i can confirm that it is in fact quite rubbish, and i can't update anything like graphics card.

i now need to buy my own parts, inc new motherboard, hoping it fits into the current shell, as i want to keep the hard disk, and probably some of the ram. also the fan is good cos it's quiet.

sadly i don't know how to do this and shall be guessing as i go.

in my last challenge i wanted to increase weight by something like 10kg in 6 weeks. predictably i weigh 10kg more. until i put down both my cats, at which point i return back to my standard weight.

comedy

when i watch it alone, i don't laugh so much as when i watch it with others. when in public (ie watching it live) there is an amount of nervous laughter. but also when watching it with others not live, i find i laugh more than usual. i think this is because you have to prove to others that you get the jokes even when it's not funny.

as wimmen in life have been getting under my brain recently, inspiring my previous post, i do not want to think aboot them any more. so back to poker. where i sometimes play better when more depressed as it is almost impossible to tilt. less than 1k fpps till i'm supernova. but i still don't think it's as good as rakeback. though playing with the americans makes table selection easier.

this year i have fallen well below the expectations i set myself. about $16k short. oops. mostly cos i tilt rather than play bad. although tilt makes me play bad obv. so the last few sentences are somewhat redundant nonsense.

i read this.

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself

if

if i played well i'd be a millionaire by now

the punishment fits the crime

A US judge has decided to make the punishment fit the crime by forcing noisy people to listen to Barry Manilow songs.

Judge Paul Sacco introduced the new form of sentence after becoming fed up dealing with repeat offenders.

Most of them had repeatedly played their car or home stereo too loud or were involved in band practices which disturbed neighbours.

"This is a way, when I look back, of teaching manners to people," the judge, from Fort Lupton Municipal Court in Colorado, said.

People who violate the town's noise laws are required to listen to the judge's choice of music at high volume for one hour.

The selection includes Manilow classics, as well as the theme song from children's television show Barney And Friends and other apparently 'uncool' music.

Court officials take surveys after each session to check whether the offenders enjoyed the music or not.

If anyone is found to actually like one of the tunes, it is removed from the playlist to make sure they are only listening to music they hate.

Judge Sacco said the scheme has been far more successful in cutting down repeat offenders than the previous system of fines.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Barry-Manilow-Songs-And-Barney-Theme-Used-To-Punish-Noisy-People-In-Fort-Lupton-Colorado/Article/200811415161978?f=rss


This reminded me that i had forgotten to take responsibility for my results.

Been playing infinitely better today than of late and ran neutral for ev! woo.

4k hands to play in the next 27.5 hours to get $250 bonus.

then 3k hands to get supernova status

will post sick month graph tomorrow when finished playing

boom

the other thing that makes me angry is other drivers obviously.

as for poker, this months graph is going to be the most disgusting i have ever created. will post at end of month.

last night i managed to get $4k down quite quickly. i then spent about 4 hours to get back to just under $1k down and called it a night. thought the singing birds were calling it a morning. actually, there weren't any singing birds, presumably cos they've all frozen to death or flown to a warmer country.

i always wondered about people living in really cold places. why did they ever settle there? and why didnt someone just wake up one day and think "this is horrible. im moving somewhere warmer."

an unrelated thought i had when i woke up today was "why don't I move somewhere warmer"

carrots for lunch

honestly, who eats carrots for lunch?
once maybe.
but every single day?!

not only that, every thing else being eaten is a horribly crunchy food.

and he sits right opposite me, no more than a metre from my face as he uncontrollably munches like a pneumatic drill.

add to this a constant year round sniffing year, plus an annoying habit of making weird sounds by short sharp breathes of air as he opens his mouth (almost impossible to describe) again enacted throughout the day, every single damn day, one metre from my face.

this is one of very few things that annoys me. noisy eaters, coupled with a bunch of other completely unnecessary noises one metre from my face. it's enough to make my blood boil.

if i play poker live and people eat at my table usually i'll need to take five mins and leave till they're done!

i think i'm mental, but i have found others with similar feelings towards this. where most people can relate to this is the popcorn eating that people do in cinemas. food free cinemas are a utopian dream for me. (notice that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word "an", even though the next word begins with a u")

unreal. i do anything to get away from it.

seriously, it's enough to make me go to the lab and do some work.

best story ever

sadly, it wasn't me, but this is pretty funny

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

i have been:
not playing poker
not putting on weight
not writing down funny thoughts

the only thing i can remember doing is calling 3 (mobile phone company to all the br000se's out there) where they put me on a conference call with 02 (another mobile phone company) but where i wasn't supposed to talk.

a ridiculous state of affairs and something that should only be in a sitcom, and not occur in real life. sadly, it was my life.

i realise i have £240 in an ipoker account and can't decide what to do with it, there's no point in it doing nothing. so do i
withdraw it
try to play sensibly and win more
stick it all on one cash table and see how well i can do
or just play tournies looking for a big score?

simple plan

as suggested by the title, this is my simple plan

by the 18th of Dec i will aim to add one stone (14 pounds to americans) (6.35kg to you non imperialists) of weight to myself. obviously this does not include clothing or balancing things on my head etc.

currently i'm abut 10.5-11 stone (150 pounds). obviously, the ideal is for it all to be added in the form of muscle, though a bit of fat won't disappoint me.

i have tried this before by doing things like weights, 4 meals a day, drinking alcohol (great source of calories!), and now i will be combining this all together along with any other plans i, or you, can think of.

also, as i have it in writing, i cannot go back without going to the effort of deleting this post. which is far too much effort.

i guess 3 pounds a week should be ok to do.

gl me.

tip of the day

if you are pouring a glass of carbonated drink, and the froth is about to overflow the sides of the container, stick your finger in the drink. this will quickly destroy the froth leading to a non spillage situation. something to do with the surface tension of the bubbles i believe.

whilst on the subject, i was thinking of can's vs bottles. bottles are 2litres which is the equivalent (near enough) of 6 cans. if they were the same price which would you go for?

pro's for cans is that the fizz is always high when you drink them and you get to make the cool can opening sound

pro's for bottles is that you don't have to have you drink regimented in 330ml amounts, but can drink any amount you wish.

i can't decide.

in the past week i've been on the phone to 3 sadly getting an upgrade on my phone. i didn't really want to stay with 3 but their offer was ridiculous, and hopefully i will be able to bankrupt them. what i liked was the lengths they went to in order to ensure i remained a customer. i've never felt so loved. they even put me on a conference call with o2 to prove that everyone charges a minimum of 1min for phone calls (ie all calls under 1min count as 1 min, and then it's per second billing after that)

that's one decision i have made, which i hope not to regret.

posting when youre winning

is easy, peasy

i remember when i won my biggest ever pot. my previous record was set at $5/10 when i felt like giving it a go. current record is at $2/4 and was a 3 way all in on the flop of 2h4h5h with me holding the AhKh. held up and an almost $2k pot came my way!

however, i also remember my worst times. i think i lost around $4k in a day playing cash. some of it was bad luck with which i wont bore you, but about half of it was bad play.

i did like that the following session i didnt tilt. in the past one bad session would tilt me for weeks! not this time. in fact, in the next session, i was outplaying the btn from my bb so much so he started raising 5 and 6 times the blind preflop. haha.

but the best thing was a guy i'd played against in the past, and who is decent and a pain to play against sat on my right. after ONE orbit, he left! i hope it's cos he didn't wanna play me. that would be a nice touch. especially since i don't think i've ever seen any one EVER table select on stars. you get a table of 6 reg's and they all sit there just for the fpps or something! ha.

i find if often takes time to let the new biggest wins and losses sink in. the biggest losses feel awful. each time you hit a new record downswing its still painful and i feel sick to the stomach unable to sleep and it feels like it'll never pass. i begin to question myself - do i know what i'm doing, am i mentally stable enough to play etc etc. i think i would like to be over wins and losses in about 30 mins. like stu ungar. maybe one day, eh?

funnily enough, all these exciting events took place in the past 48 hours.


thats enough nonsense for one year, i'll leave you with mary.

Mary had a little dress
It was split in half
Every time she took a step
The boys could see her calf

Mary had another dress
It was split down the side
Every time she took a step
The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another dress
It was split down the front
But she never wore that one


(i sent it to a friend. his reply "it's a pity she never wore it")

i'm back baby

went to kyiv and venezia, so hardly around the world but two places with highly opposing cultures

kiev is a standard eastern european city with the beautiful architecture spoiled by the unfriendly nature of the locals. i dont think i saw a person smile. it's like the london underground.

venice on the other hand is highly peaceful due to the pedestrian nature of the streets. i.e. no automobiles. it's either canal or streets for walking only. whilst it is a very old place with very old buildings they are all churches and therefore not particularly interesting on the inside. kinda like most pretty girls, but thankfully not all of them!

onto the poker front, my aim this month is to play 30k hands, but i will be happy with 25k. this has only begun today on the 8th and as i am only playing when i feel like it, i will be surprised if i reach that goal.

need to play more on weekends obv, averaging about 1500 hands per day. todays offering has been 699. not the best start.

it's been a week since my last post and since i'm off round the world (kinda) in a couple of days it will be my last post for a week.

this will be the first month that i haven't hit platinum status since march. last month i played hard on the final day to get platinum status and blew about $1k to do it, so i'm not playing just cos i have to. been an ok month anyway. stars keeps freezing on my comp, usually when i have the HEM HUD running, so it's a bit awkward playing there atm. barely played any hands but been doing ok. very swingy days but thats just the cards. though on monday or tuesday i tilted off 3 buyins in a few hands when i knew i was getting tired. that annoyed me and i took a couple of days off. first time i've tilted all month.
even after all my bad play, tilt still is my biggest leak, though i find i don't tilt at higher stakes, and notice my mistakes more. maybe i should just bluescouse it up and hope to run good for a week.

also, i'm 11k away from supernova so i'll just get that next month.

today's post will be bad since I have no funnies i can recall of late. i will have to try to find an old one. couldn't find one. i will have to go for philosophy instead.

it snowed here in london in october for the first time since 1934. i happened to be outside playing football at the time. it was picturesque, but as i didn't have my camera i will have to save it in my head. unfortunately, i cannot upload this image to blogger.com. maybe i will be able to one day in the future.

end of post.

as an aside, i find i get angry at myself when i let things that annoy me get me angry. i worry that this is an infinite loop of anger and wonder how i ever manage to break it.

edit: remembered what i actually intended to write about.
this blog about dropout playing poker was interesting
Law school Dropout
i read it from start to finish. motivational/inspirational although there is a lot of overwritten stuff to get through.
sadly 2005 and 2006 got lost. they were the best bits.

followers

i have none.

i don't follow it. personally, i prefer more popular blogs like some of the links on the right.

i was on the train today, in a quiet carriage. apparently you're not allowed to use your phone or play music in this carriage.
so about one third of the way into the journey two people answer their phones near each other. a guy from a few seats in front comes to them individually telling them off!

anyways, so towards the end of the journey a guy sitting behind me answers his very loudly ringing phone. someone pretty much appears out of nowhere and says "YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
without batting an eyelid he continues in conversation "hold on a sec, i have to move out the carriage, a very militant man just told me off!"

i laughed on the inside, not out loud, i was a little scared of him.

layout

it is changed

i liked the green. but i had to change it cos the layout was broken. between posts there was no spacing between the end of one and the start of the next!

i looked in the html but couldn't fix it, so i had to get rid of it. it was annoying me greatly. i think i have mild ocd/retardation.

variance

i don't think many poker players truly understand the beast that is variance.

its not even whether you are up or down in equity that is the biggest bit imo.

the biggest bit is simply the hands you are dealt and the hands that others are dealt. whether you play them, whether they play them and how it's played leads to showdowns and all in ev.

for example, i played 700 hands earlier today. got dealt very little, never got a decent spot preflop, managed to break even/win a little.

next session this evening, played 300 hands, got dealt good hands, other people got dealt slightly worse hands, i win lots of $$$

being able to fold the slightly worse hands in the right spots, and figuring out which is the right spot to fold is the skill that saves lots of monies.

the all in ev after that is out of your hands and therefore irrelevant.

this is why bad play by me annoys me as it's what i can control.

control is a funny thing in life. some people i know like to drive, and not be driven! i cannae believe it.

i haven't had many funny thoughts recently. i'm not depressed. and i haven't put on the weight that i wanted (all in muscle form obv). i've noticed depressed people are fat. i see a plan on the horizon...

it was the best of times, it was the blurst of times

i hate playing against retards. it feels like you either take candy from a baby, or lose to people who have trouble dressing themselves in the morning. lose lose situation.

today i played like a retard. sadly however, this is also a lose lose situation.

i also watched all of entourage recently. not all that funny, but good enough to purchase.

i first watched it all in 3 days. i often do things like that. it's good because you watch it all at once. however, when you have finished, you want more to watch. i guess it's sometimes good to space things out. the machine from men in black that can erase your memory would be good in certain circumstances if you could control it specfically. you could erase the memory of a film say, and watch it for the first time, many times!

blogs of note

i just read the last four blogs of note on blogger.

i think the only notable thing, which i should add they all have in common, is that they are incredibly dull. notably dull.

one was i think some sort of cookery blog. ok, wat? second was a picture of random cats not doing funny things. a third was some random guy with a job. the fourth i don't even remember.

i, on the other hand, have been hitting the town. what is depressing is how little alcohol it now takes to get me drunk, and then hungover. i didn't eat before i went out, and this helps reduce time spent at bar since less drinks are required. i also threw up in my sleep last time i ate during a heavy night. that was pretty disgusting. i then read the next day about some kid who choked and died on his own vomit in his sleep. i guess i escaped with just a hangover. hangover + vomit + less money is worse than hangover. so eating didn't really achieve anything positive.

still, i'd rather throw up in my sleep than be a blog of note.

ev

i was $2k down in ev today.

i don't even care about it. it evens out over the month/year/large enough sample

i think anyone that complains about luck doesn't understand variance and will not fulfil their potential in this game

what is much worse ev is i forgot to eat tonight.

i had a plan to eat 4 times a day. 8am, noon, 5pm, 7pm

but if i forget when im hungry this doesn't bode well.

month has petered out. need 1k vpp tomorrow to get platinum and ever closer to supernova.
sadly, it won't be till about april that i can claim the $4k in actual monies.

still not so good

my hot streak of poking ended with my enforced week off as i went to scotland

i'm now running as fast as a negatively powered usain bolt. i wonder if he will do a "marvellous marvin hagler" and change his name to lighting. i think he will.

i think i had a goal for $50k by the end of this year. there is a very very very small chance that i'm gonna make it. in fact, it's many orders of magnitude less than the previous sentence indicates.

i don't have many more constructive things to say. i do however have a riddle for you.

you have an ordinary pedal bike with stabilisers to prevent it toppling over, and you tie a cord to one of the pedals. the pedal you have tied it to is in the lowest possible position. (and the other is in the highest). the cord is parallel with the ground and in a backwards direction. you are standing at the end of the cord.

now you pull with a constant force on the cord. in which direction does the bike travel?

i've worked this out and am gonna try it on monday. so you have 2 days to answer. winners will get a choice of prizes.

since i apparently don't know the answer, i am also trying to win the prizes. wish me luck!

things aren't going well

in society right now.

i'm no expert but i think it has got to do with schooling.

in the uk, the generation* above mine learnt the three r's in school

Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.

I can almost see how they got away with writing. it does sound like an r, although, as it does refer to the written word, they should have checked what it starts with when you write it.

arithmetic however, takes this two steps too far.

if this passed off as edumacation, then we're all in trouble for the foreseeable future.

which brings me to my starred point of generations. when people say, for example, "the previous generation", i've never understood when it started or stopped. if it was maybe 20 years ago (arbitratily chosen figure) then what about the years in between. where do they fit?? and how long do generations last?

it only make sense to me on a personal, family scale, but no other scales. like a fractal without the pretty pictures.

this is one of those things where i just go with the flow and wonder if i'm the mental, or if everyone else are the mentals.

roundabouts

my hot streak has alas come to an end and it's back to eeking out a profit. except the profit being eeked is a loss.

more alarmingly after my last post, i went to get some ice cream. avid readers will be well aware of my last calamity involving some sorbet which was entirely devoured before i got a chance to try it. that made me crazy. ironically, the ice cream was called "Jamaican me crazy". which it did.

so after my last post i went directly to the freezer with a hungering for ice cream. i found a magnum. i was a little peturbed that it had written on it "touch of spice" or something to that effect. spice with ice cream is not something that i would think goes well together even though i like ice cream, and i like spicy foods. but i sometimes live on the edge. also, the picture made it look like chocolate ice cream. so i tried it. and it was chocolate! but it was infused with more than just a hint of cinnamon. the most foul of all the weird flavours. i couldn't even find someone willing to finish it, so i had to send it to ice cream hell.

the next ice cream i have better be bloody marvellous.

estrange

i'm not sure why but when i'm winning i find i harder to play more hands, but when i'm losing i have no problem playing lots. it should be vice versa

in my last session i played on a total of 7 different tables, losing on 6 of them and still finished in profit. an unlikely feat.

have played very few hands this month, yet doing remarkably well. Have been playing tighter than usual, especially when i level'd up, though have begun to loosen up a touch at higher levels.

everyone keeps talking about the toughness of pokerstars, though i am yet to see this at my meagre levels.

on my driving today down the almost motorway i noticed something in the road in front of me. from a distance i expect anything stationary and small to be a roadkill. today however, it was a shoe. well, more a timberland boot. i did wonder how it got there and if the person misses it. it looked in good shape but it's hard to stop on that road.

i bought some headphones the other day online. the last pair i bought disintegrated after about 6 weeks of rare usage so i went for something ever so slightly pricier. however, i bought the completely wrong thing which is pretty hard to do when it comes to headphones. seeing as i cant be bothered to ebay them i will be giving them away to someone who can answer me this:

which is worse in a person you have to share a bed with, drooling or snoring?


edit: i've had to read and edit the post because lots of words were misspelled. firefox's built in dictionary is supposed to notice imaginary words like pokerstars and alert you with a red underlining. however, of late, it has become inconsistent in it's ability to work. this i find strange. computers are supposed to be able to do things consistently. that's why we built them. not just to work when they feel like.

robert david keane

i'm not sure why itv decided to give his full name on the telly vision tonight. at first i didn't even realise who it was. (robbie keane just in case you're not sure)

anyway i'm back from roma. i have realised there are some universal constants in life.
cats sound the same everywhere.
taxi drivers (specifically mini cabs not prebooked) try to create rapport but almost always it's a cover for the screwing they're about to apply to you.

i also went to the place where caesar was allegedly stabbed by brutus. it's at the centre right of this picture. in front of the arch's, behind the tall pillars.

it's now inhabited by cats. lots of them. and they're very lazy. they get fed by a charity, set up just for them.

i've always thought it was a bit weird that rome lies much in ruins. lots of the marble and bronze etc was stripped a few hundred years ago for weapons and things according to my tour guide. but they have never since replaced it. and they expect you to use your imagination instead. most people i think use the film gladiator instead of their imagination. it's easier.

and just incase i forget later in life, i did get the ipod from littlewoods for more than the price of buying one in a shop. i also got a chipset and other goodies from betfair for a few pounds. i broke even after attaining an insanely high number of suckouts. i even had other people at the table thinking i was a superuser. but then they stopped playing in pots with me so i had to leave. which is kind of the opposite of the saying every cloud has a silver lining. i wonder if anyone ever says, every silver has a cloudy lining. probably not. it doesn't make much sense.

i deserve it!

so i read this post on another blog about someone hitting some results after a barren spell and them thinking it was what they deserved for all their hard work.

the problem i have with people thinking they get what they deserve is it means that something is ensuring that they get what they deserve. basically, this is a higher being/g-d. which they do not mention or refer to, or probably even acknowledge to themselves.

this is akin to the the idea of karma, although who makes sure the karma is dished out evenly is ignored by karma proponents as far as i am aware, though i have done no looking into this whatsoever.

this brings me on to the next point. how do you know what you deserve? you aren't really in an objective position to judge it. you probably cannot comprehend what is, in an absolute sense, right and wrong. nor you cannot compare yourself to anyone else since you do not know the choices they have made and experiences they have undergone.

the final point that strikes me about this, is that at no point in their bad run did this player think, "this is what i deserve." they think when they win, this is what they deserve, and when they lose, they are unlucky, but still deserve to win. i think an attitude like that in life is poor.

brian townsend once wrote, you have to be responsible for your results.
i found that idea helpful. whether you win or lose, do not blame luck, other people, or any other factors. ultimately the responsibilty and accountability lies with you. once i accepted this, my outlook and mindset improved significantly.

this is one of those things i've been thinking about for a while and is also one of those things that has been drawn out of my mind from poker, but is readily applicable to life. however, i do think that this is a problem to explain to most people, especailly being able to tell them that you 'discovered' this outlook from a card game.

that's been on my mind for a short while now. i'm gonna stop writing for two reasons.
1) i hurt my wrist at football today
2) that's enough words.

sponsorship

people ask to be sponsored to run marathons

i don't quite understand the concept. i think the idea is someone runs a marathon, and people then give money to charity. yet i fail to see the correlation between the two. you can run a marathon wihtout sponsorship. i'm sure it's possible, even if it means you're a bit mad. and you can give money to charity without needing an excuse.

it's a like a bet where the loser has to pay money to charity, but you've pre-arranged who the loser is. though some would say the one who runs 26miles for no reason, is the real loser.

all in all, a highly illogical process from start to finish.

la di da

more on 3!!

i called them to find when my contract ended so i can terminate it asap. the guy asked why i wanted to, and i had many reason, not least customer services. i also mentioned that the phone recently would continually cut out, and it didn't seem the reception was dropping at all (though possibly could have been momentarily)
as we get into some discussion about it, it cuts out! ironic. and he didn't even call back.

last few days poker been going well. had one hour of bad play a few days ago where i tilted briefly.
began to make a few mistakes again today, but still got one thousand hands in, for a small profit in the end. thankfully the three big hands i played my hands held up. one was aa v aks aipf, the second was btm set v flush draw+gutshot, the third was aa vs qq aipf. thinking about it, i definitely played poorly tonight, especially compared with the last few days where i barely put a foot wrong.

i played earlier in the day than usual today. i think table selection is probably the most underrated was to improve winrate.

i went past a church a while ago in a place i wasn't familiar. there was a sign on the outside which read "lost? come in"

even though that's a true story i think i might claim that as my joke.

deposit limits

went to play betfair for a week to get a hoodie and chip set, and found i'd previously set a deposit limit. this is a problem when it's now 2 buy ins. which i lost.

still, almost halfway there, and should be able to win when i get round to redepositing there.

it's kinda weird to think about the small stakes i played when i started. £5 tournaments back in the day. quite pleased to see progress. progress is hard to measure in oneself on a day to day basis.

going to wales for the day tomorrow. obviously not out of choice. now in one of those moments where i don't want to go to sleep becuase i know that when i wake up stupidly early, i will have to get up and go to wales. the first should never be done in a hurry, the second should never be done.

so i got a letter from mobile company 3 today, where they informed me all calls for less than 1 minute would be billed as a minute. every thing over that will be per second.
doesn't fill me with much confidence. who's to say next week they won't say, "hallo mugs, it's all per minute now"
which reminds me of when i called up to get my phone, and the first person got annoyed with me asking questions about the tariff she hung up on me! i laughed a little, but somehow they've had the last laugh since i ended up getting a contract with them.

again so close

anyway, i just solved poker.

2 things that have blighted me in since mid april. 4 months and i finally work it out.

i've said this before, and usually get complacent which is part of the problem.

however, someone just ate all my ice cream before i even got a chance to taste it. it was a new ben and jerry sorbet flavour. you're making me crazy, i think it's called. so i definitely need to buy my self a house and fridge freezer. this shall be my motivation.

anyway, if you'd like to know the answer, send me a message, and $1k. i will only sell to the first person.

if you accept and appreciate the answer, you will become a much better player instantaneously. let's just hope you can cope with the responsibility, eh?

oh, yeah, my funny for today:

running at night makes me feel like a criminal.

FORMAT

i don't know what happened in the previous post.

i think its also deleted something cool i wrote.

i think i've been hacked. didn't hurt as much as i expected

still playing terribly

dunno whats wrong with me. can't concentrate properly. worst month of the year so far!

this is where that missing blog post is

i bet it was really funny too

.weak

been repeatedly donating funds to society.

had one of my worst ever days recently. played bad, nd down about $1k in ev luck

decided to really focus on the first 200 hands of sessions to just not be losing lots.

last night started alright, lost some profits but ended up winning a little for the first time in ages. all i need to do is the same each day and i'll be back in the black in no time.

CONCENTRATE PLEASE!

as for funnies,

a chicken and an egg are lying in bed. the egg is smoking. the chicken says "well, that solves that then"

so close...

...to two posts in a day

here's a graph

note the mental inability to be consistent till after i repeatedly unload multiple buy ins to my fellow tards
on wards and up wards.

things to learn

not to lose 10 buyins in the first 100 hands and spend 3 hours getting it back

i seem to have been playing breakeven poker for about 4 months now and its annoying. i guess it's only about 80k hands.

i'm gonna go back to carrying a notepad around with me to write down the funny thoughts i have during the day. there are so many but my memory doesn't like me remembering them. maybe it's because i'm just having the same three thoughts over and over and if i remembered them, i wouldn't be able to laugh so much every day.

added a new blog to the left. brucie, named after the bruce lee. quite funny, although obviously doesn't mean he's a good person. not that i mean he's a bad person.

i do find humour is very specific to people. it's usually hard for me to be funny to be new people. i think i spend the first few conversations working out whether or not they have a sense of humour. i don't like wasting good jokes on bad people.

i went to argos the other day to buy a wii. (not really for me). the guy at the counter proceeded to tell me how he had one. i suggested it was supposed to come with a second controller, and he said that it didn't and you had to buy it separately btu for an extra few quid you get a bunch of games. so i agreed. he then told me how he had the same deal.
next he offered me insurance. i said no, it's covered by nintendo if it goes wrong. yeah, he says, but if anything goes wrong we replace it quicker. he then proceeded to tell me how he got insurance for it.
it was at this point i became convinced that if i suggested i planned on going to the moon for a penguin hurling competition he wuld try to sell it to me, telling me he'd been there, done that, how good it was, and how argos would be the best people to get it from.

so i ran home, played wiitennis, got frustrated and dropped a bunch of by ins when i logged into poker.

hit 5kvpp already this month, and roll is at about 10.2k

boring blog

just read through some recent posts and they're boring as hell

forgot i was supposed to write at least one funny per post

today's is something my friend recently said to me on the phone whilst they were watching jeremy kyle on unruly kids.
referring to the mum my friend says "she has post natal depression. and her kid's like 11"

awful month improved in 300 hands today where i hit 3 sets, 1 flopped straight.

roll up to 11.5k

keep on truckin

not much to post about except same old not winning faster

checked out my stats for the year

running at 3 ptbb/100 at 1/2

this includes tilting away 30 buyins.

been playing more 2/4 recently and every time i do my luck just nosedives.

of my last 4 sessions i've been over $1k down on all in ev in one, and 750 down last night.

however, that doesn't excuse bad play and I have to play better. only playing when i want of late, but really need to sit down and concentrate for the first 1/2 hundred hands and not do anything stupid.

also wanna qualify for a live tourney this year, preferably aussie millions thru betfair so gonna deposit, play some 1/2 there and see how the sats go when they become available later in the year.

priority however remains increasing roll on stars to $30k by end of year to be rolled for 5/10

5 months to go. roll currently at 11k

bonus chasing

well last month ended alright, hit platinum in 2 weeks which is good to know i can do that.

this month littlewoods were doing a bonus where you get an iPod for 2000mpps. i figure i can reach that in a week or two but played stars to start with on double vpp week and made about 7kvpp so don't need to play so much this month. as playing well on stars and hourly rate was about $150

switched to littlewoods and playing for the 2000mpp would also give me a £100 bonus, an ipod and rakeback. so i just needed to break even. first 4 sessions gone and i found myself up a few hundred. then it went pair shaped, i started playing omaha and hilo, playing lower stakes holdem and just finished the bonus last night. lost the £500 i put in so after rakeback of around £150-£200 pounds i will have paid around £300 for the ipod. not to mention i could have been winning on stars in the meantime.

that'll be the last time i bonus chase. i should point out i have no confidence in the crypto software and was running horrible in terms of sklansky bucks and all in luck. i took so many runner runners and managed to give out a few as well. in not many hands at all. play is very different there but something really doesn't sit right at that site. still, with all that said, its no excuse. if i can't take responsibility for my results i shouldn't play.

if i want some variety in future i may go back to playing on betfair or mansion, but will just wait and see. still have some monies in mansion, should really take it all out since it's doing nothing in there.

for he remainder of this month i will start playing more and more $2/4. maybe starting with 3 tables of each, but really should step it up if i wanna be playing 2/5 by the end of the year. if i am, i may get some coaching to speed up learning.

about a year ago i felt my cash game improved dramatically and in the last year i feel mentally i've improved a lot.

not sure how next to improve my game. i still try to learn at the tables, and adjust to opponents but beyond that i can't yet see too much more at these levels of cash.

i have in the meantime forgotten how to play tournies especially the middle stages. and you really just need to luckbox your way through a 6000 player tourney to get a huge payday so maybe they are worth the occasional try.

plus i really really wanna go to the aussie open this year so am gonna make a concerted effort win a satellite.

turned the corner

finally stopped being on tilt and last couple of weeks results improved greatly

up $3k this month, and playing 5/6 tables at once doesn't let me play as many hands as previously but i'm playing better postflop and tilting less finally.

many fewer mistakes i see when i review my sessions and thinking properly when i'm at the tables. an almost 2 week break helped with this. interesting to find out that in the remaining 2 weeks of this month i should hit platinum on stars for the month.

have been looking at all the supernova stuff and rake equivalent and i'm pretty sure you need to hit at least 300k vpp for it to be equivalent to 30% rakeback. and i seem to get more vpp than anyone else. o no idea where others are getting the figures from.

100k vpp = 350kfpp when already supernova where each 100fpp can be converted to $1500
so that gives $4500
each 10kvpp is equivalent to about $700 rake back at 30% so 100kvpp is $7000

at 200kvpp you get a bonus of $2k so thats 700kfpp to give $10.5k plus $2k giving total effective rake of $12.5k whereas 30% rake is $14k. though this is slightly better than the 27% you get at full tilt.

though its not like you have points leftover to spend like you would a other places with rakeback.

next year when i am supernova my aim will be 200k vpp which i hope will be possible since i aim to be playing 3/6 and 5/10. though more likely to be 2/4 and 3/6

though if i can play 35-40k hands per month i should hit 200vpp even at 1/2.
problem is i may not have enough time next year. will have to wait and see how things pan out.

anyways, have to mostly spend time concentrating on my game rather than any other nonsense!

stuck

i'm always looking for ways to improve but am a bit stuck.

taken a week off, and will take another soon (both involuntary)

my game has improved upon my return back to when i was half decent.

not sure where to go now other than trying to win consistently for the next 6 weeks.

but when thats done and i move up levels with a modicum of brm, then wat?

awful may, but better than both of the last two years losing around $2k, and my all in ev luck being around -$2k so i played level after rake which is pretty bad imo.

the next 2 months i will be away for another week, after which i aim to have 5 fig roll back on stars, and also going for a littlewoods deal which includes a £100 sign up bonus, and iPod touch along with rakeback all for only 2k mpps which i hope to make in 2-3 weeks. also want to keep up platinum status on stars to hit supernova soonish.

yesterday went up $600 then down $500 then finished level. made 5/6 mistakes which i know about and weren't hugely -ev but -ev imo nonetheless.

been working on cutting them out and improving. also not tilting which has been my biggest downfall last 2 months.

platinum

again for this month hit platinum. on my way to supernova, although i worked out the rakebkc rate is pretty poor. only when you hit 400k vpps for the year do you get a decent 30% or so. this might change if i move up levels as i may get more points for less rake since the pots will in general be bigger but will really have to just play lots of hands at higher levels to see.

earlier than before now that i'm 4 tabling, and playing some $2/4.
playing so badly i'm gonna leave off the $2/4 for now, even though it's just as easy as $1/2, and the only person who beats me is myself.
in fact, there's only one person i avoid at the tables since they always seem to have a hand against me, and they're a decent player from what i can make out.
which is another thing stars players are quite bad at. table selection. i sit on a table that ends up having for other multitabling tight abc players, and then a 5th joins! i know i'm not great but its still a stupid time and place to sit down.

alas, it's turned into my worst month since last may. in fact, every may has seen me lose for the past 3 years.

£2k each of the last two years so the current month loss of $2k is half as bad.

according to poker ev, my equity over the last 3 days play is about $2k.

so essentially i'm playing rubbish this month and also being unlucky. whilst the luck will even out i have to start playing better.

my mentality really really needs to improve. i just need to concentrate especially on not making basic mistakes. this is what is costing me lots., last session i lost $500 and straight away i could name 3 spots where i made bad calls costing over $500 in total. and every time i knew i was beat.

i read a blog on limit poker where each call is either a bigbet or 1/2big bet post flop, and if you can save one big bet per hour, your win rate will rocket. so i should really concentrate on saving 125 of them on three bad calls.

wish me luck!

may so far

pretty disgusting swings going on, due to good/bad play syndrome rather than variance

sigh

i must be breakeven over the last 40k hands or so and it's so depressing

so many +$1k and -$1k days and its so tiresome when the beats all come in one go

last few days pokerev says i'm owed about $30,000 or sumthin

grrr

still playing terribly


ended last month down $700 which was pretty awful

started this month playing well. that lasted two days

gone from $750up to $750 down and barely played any hands this month. all starting with my 3rd session of the month where i get aa on the bb and lose to a button stealer who actually had a pair of 4's and hit a set. thanks. downhill all the way since then. also lost with aa to 99 where 9 wouldnt fold at all in a multiway pot only to spike a 9 on the turn. thanks again.

need to change my mentality of trying to win lots all at once, and just play slightly tighter, not assume everyone else is always bluffing and calm down just cos i don't get any decent hand hands for a bit.

need to play with no distractions also if i'm gonna take it seriously.

may take $3k out my account and then another 3 at the end of the month.

if i start playing well i'll also be taking shots at 2/4. maybe that'll work as an incentive.

gonna buy a 22" screen and comp to be able to play 3/4 tables without overlap. getting that next week so need to win some monies please

playing so baaaaaad

profit so far of $1k for the month, from a peak of $2.7k but what worries me is how bad i'm playing.

on target for 10k vpps half way through the month, and quite enjoy playing but i'm trying to force it too much and making basic basic mistakes which i really need to cut out.

luckily i find the occasional idiot to help me out a hole. today a guy ran up $100 to $1k on a $1/2 table before finally leaving with $300. i helped myself to most of it and don't understand why more people don't try to play hands against these people. hit anything and you get paid! his bet sizing was so easy to read though it didn't stop me paying him off twice when i know i should have folded. basic mistake.

think i may get a new comp and the 24" screen from the stars shop. or maybe i'll just but a screen and get a ps3 and wii instead.

where to play?

still playing between 3/4 tables. seem to play better with 3 and running hot so far this month. though haven't played as many hands as i would like.

however, having said that, as i was going to sleep last night i realised that stars vpp's are reset every year, so my plan of hitting the rakeback targets was shot to pieces since i was looking at doingit over 2/3 years.

so i might have to move to fulltilt for cash games. the only problem is stars games are so weak. it's more profitable there than playing at crypto inc rakeback and bonus's which i don't get on stars.

gonna keep playing at stars for a few weeks at least i reckon till i work out what to do.

looking again at what fpp's can buy, and even though i'd make over 25k per month there isn't very much appealing things. am trying to work out what's the best value for money since i guess i have to use them. perhaps the sunday warm up? maybe a 24" monitor. might get a new comp anyway from dell which comes with a monitor and would be cool to have 2.

any ideas about where to play (somewhere with lots of players and rakeback obv) or ideas about what to spend the fpp's on would be much appreciated. not that anyone reads this!

march roundup - was up at 4k profit before i finished off hitting plat status, but dropped about 1k reaching it. well worth it!

have since played a couple sessions of $2/4 and once bought for 300, rebought 200 twice and eventually left with 630. time before was last month and i got stacked by a fish with bottom set!

worst experience for a while was 2 days ago with a massive useless fish on my left who kept beating me! never called my river value bets when i had monsters. always knew when to bet/call when i was bluffing. one time when i check the river with the nuts is the one time he doesnt bet it. and he just gave all my monies to everyone else at the table!!!

other than that all good so far this month. just need to play more hands, more hands!

mentality

even though i'm playing 4 tables at once i find myself checking whether i'm currently up or down for the session. i used to do this all the time playing 3 tables, and i've realised it's a bad thing to be doing since it affects my decisions.

i've caught myself doing this recently, as i've been trying to stop and just concentrate on making the right decisions.


and whilst there's been lots of ups and downs and obvious bad tilty decisions these last few weeks i've finally broken $2k for the month and hoping to hit $3k (short of the $5k min i had hoped for from this month)

also look likely to hit 10k vpps on stars and platinum status. should reach it at about 16k hands.

so basically i need to play more hands every month.

at the moment i sometimes find myself stopping concentrating after 1-2hours and i've been disciplined to stop. only rarely have i been able to play more than 4+hours a day. and i might start having to if i'm gonna make some inroads into the 500,000 vpps i want. and my current rate it'll take about 4 years!!

me plan

i finish studying in two years and by that time i want to have made enough to purchase a house
seeing as how i can't get much of a mortgage, i reckon i'm gonna need about $200k

currently, i can play maybe 20k hands per month and running ok $5-8k should be a realistic
over 24 months (assuming $6.5kpm) this comes to $156k. that would be pretty sweet.

this is at $1/2 and i'd be hoping to move up to $2/4, $3/6 and $5/10 as my roll allows.

this month i've hit 10k hands, though have played terrible for part of the month when i first started 4-tabling. somewhy i played looser!? anyways, back on track last few days, and about $1k up, so a bit of catch up to do to hit 5k in the next 10k hands.


as an aside, i think that poker is like driving. getting annoyed at the idiots that surround you and stooping to their level is a bad idea. do it in poker and you'll lose monies. do it on the road and you can lose a lot more.

a 2nd aside, i read a few forums, and there is soo much nonsense on there, with the occasional eye opening bit of info. i think there are only 2 real good bits of advice that i've ever read. and lots of bad things, which explains how even regular players can consistently make bad plays. at 1/2 people are happy to get 200big blinds in preflop with KK. obviously you are up against aces!
also people quote pokerstove as the reason you should call aipf with AK against a 4bet. unless you are weighting the range you are up against, it will look like you should call, but AA and KK are the majority of that range so it's definitely a -ev play!

i say this, but i am actually rather pleased people play and think so badly about the game. gives me a chance to win since i'm not particularly good!

and since tilt is defo my biggest leak, the moral of the story is practice less road rage, and less table rage.

and one last thing before i forget, wanna hit 500kVPP on stars within these 2 years, to get a decent amount of rakeback + stuff from their fpp store. 500kvpp is roughly where rake and presents from stars almost equals rake. though i do need to work out the vpp to rake ratio and higher stakes. only prob is there's no direct correlation.

tilt

not the tilt you notice but the subtle play marginal situations badly all the time tilt

gone from $1100 up to $1100 down so far this month.

thats pretty shocking.
coincides with increasing from 3 to 4 tables. might have to drop down to three till i can get a screen with no overlap. oddly enough my vpip and pfr % have both gone up as i increased number of tables played. i thought i would play tighter with more tables.

need to concentrate next session i play, by not playing rubbish cards at the start. be patient. wait for good hands and situations. gonna buy in with 60% of full amount to make sure i don't chase with sooted connectors etc.

i wanna play 4 tables so it will be easy to hit supernova and by the end of april would be able to get either a 24"monitor or something ps3. though its the low end ps3 and is less points.

i still don't like playing on stars with no rakeback but lost £1k in hills over the course of 2 months, and since i'd won $1.5k on stars in the same amount of time i figured even with rakeback i'd make more on stars.

i think i just need to play better.

i have decided some yearly aims too.
but the end of next year i wanna hit £100k to afford a house.

play $1/2 and $2/4 this year and reach $50-60k.
next year $3/6, $5/10 and make $100k.

all using good brm.

here goes.....


(oh yeah, january was -$500 in cash, +$2k in tournies
february was +$4k
march -$1.1k so far...)