a plan, stan

for the next month i will be playing 1/2, trying to hit 30k hands for the month, and trying to not play like a mong. discipline is key!

ideally this will entail a profit of $10k but we shall see.

i will update results here on the days that i play (hopefully 6 days a week)

i really need to refocus. playing 1/2 is good fun as most people are terrible, but playing 40% of all hands like i did last night is not possible when 8tabling.

i will be listening to mostly chilled music like sigur ros, sublime and maybe some radiohead. any other bands who are good and chilled, please inform me of their existence.

i am bad

at poker.

im going back to 1/2 till i remember how to play and not tilt


tilted one or two buy ins away recently, which isn't much compared to my recent losses (another -10buy in yesterday!) but still it adds up to about $16k of tilt losses this year

the problem with 8 tabling

is when you run awfully, this is multiplied by the number of tables you have open

so far, tonight has been the second session this month of losing 10+ buyins

this is frustrating

trying to write a post

but my keyboard keeps not responding to the inputs i am giving it.

i was considering purchasing one of these

http://www.ocztechnology.com/products/ocz_peripherals/nia-neural_impulse_actuator

it lets you control the mouse + keyboard using just your thoughts!
they cleverly (although maybe it's an obvious thing to do) advertise on wikipedia. at least until someone changes it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neural_Impulse_Actuator

i like the idea of not having to use a keyboard ever again, however i would want something to type for me as i think the words. though i can see where this would result in some problems. for now though, this only works for a few keys at a time.


i recently returned from prague and am pleased to say i was upgraded to a level 2 citizen, as seen in the photo below



there were many 'chequepoints', but obviously those were scams and didn't count.

8tabling

i managed to play 8 tables last night. aside from not being able to pay attention to what was going on, i noticed there were many bad habits i also did not have time to do:
checking how much i was up or down (rather than concentrate on making best decision)
worry about winning or losing hands (can lead to tilt)
worry about hating individuals at my table (leads to ego related tilt problems)
folded more often in spots (eg to 3bets preflop) where i should fold as i didnt have time to try to outplay everyone

this lead to a decent result, and i may try it in future on weekends at least. the standard was pretty abysmal last night. every table had at least one player playing 50% of the hands.

recently, south park is now being shown on tv in england 2 days after the episodes air in america. this is a substantial improvement on the 12+ month delay they used to have. this phenomenon, which has become consistent amongst all tv shows and movies is imo purely down to the piracy issue. something which i think is lost on lots of people. however stealing is obviously bad. luckily i have had no real influence on any of this or i would wonder what is the correct stance to take on this issue.

though i do find it funny that they blame piracy for drugs, funding terrorism, money laundering etc. how exactly are terrorists getting money when people download things for FREE?

things i know about women

i recently helped a female friend do some maths uni work over the msn/skype. at one point, for a couple of days in a row i could not help as i was playing poker/watching football/out. due to this i received an email telling me what a terrible human i was. i would have got annoyed had i not remembered the things i know about women.

1) flattery works.
not directly relevant here, but as i know this works, i thought i would share.

2) they are highly illogical
for example, there are two types of questions women ask.

a) questions they know the answer to.
eg what time did you get home last night. if you answer i don't remember, they will tell you the exact time. this is pointless.
this is akin to me asking them about the offside rule. something i obviously will never do.

b) questions they don't know the answer to
the problem with this type is that they will assign you an answer. whether you answer the question or not. sometimes they will go as far as to do this whole process without involving you at all.
ie, they imagine asking you questions, answer them how they wish, and the worst part is that they then react based upon that.

when i received an email telling me how i was just below polpot on the scale of humans i realised what had happened.
i was asked why i couldn't help, and obv i couldn't because i was fed up of helping.
of course, this whole process took place inside her head.

i recently asked her if that this is how all women think. she confirmed this. i then (bravely) pointed out the logical flaw in this thought process. she noticed the flaw and still decided it was a justified response to questions.

luckily i had won monies that day playing poker or i would have driven off a cliff asap.

3) actually, those two is all i know.

a frustrating steak breakfast

went to a steak restaurant at noonish today to break my overnight fast. i arrived looking forward to purchasing my steak and chips. i had not had anything to eat or drink prior to my arrival, so when the waitress came over i asked for some tap water. she says, they don't do tap water. i reply, youre joking, you do. it's the law. she seemed unfazed. maybe i played my trump card too early.
the last time this happened my friend and i just walked out. however, i really wanted this steak pronto.
nevermind i thought, i'll ask the manager.
i go over to the till and ask the person there for some water thinking he seems sensible and this will be no hassle at all, as there is a tap right next to him. i was wrong. i ask him and he also replies the same
"we don't do tap water".
mildly frustrated, i asked why
"i don't know"
"ok," i say, "can i speak with the manager"
"i am the manager" he says (with a straight face)

2 things struck me at this point.

1)he's lying. any live 1c/2c donk could make that read. i am 100% sure of this because it's a lie i used to have to tell at my job before the company went busto (lol story, where we were on watchdog). i also know it's a lie because i have been there before many times and the manager is in fact a very hot argentinian woman.

2)at the same time thought number 2 hit me so hard i said it out loud " so, you told yourself that you don't do tap water and don't know why?"

he was saved at this point by the owner walking into scene. he points and says that's the owner. so i say to owner, can i get some tap water. his reply was great. "we don't have any"
erm, there's a tap right there i say to him.
he chooses this moment to exit as fast as he had appeared.

i do not understand why these retards make my life so difficult. luckily (for them) the waitress had for some reason put an empty cup on my table when i returned. so when all these fools had left the area i strolled over to the tap and filled myself up. the look the waitress gave me when she saw my tap water, as if i had killed her family, made the whole thing almost worthwhile.

jokerstars

i reg'd for this tournament whilst playing the scoop low main event.

the message they put up made me laugh.

escapism

had some thoughts about this but can't be bothered to post it now

i did also have a poker related thought. one of the things to which i alluded in my previous post, about having heard but not fully understanding:

money won is equivalent to money saved

this is totally true, however, the difficulty in this concept is the ability to measure it. money won is easy to measure as you look at how much you won and possibly hands where you could have bet more etc. money saved is much tougher to note and add up because most of the time you will have lost the pot. at the end of a losing session after running terrible i sometimes review hands, realised i played alright with the cards dealt to me and the fact that i lost is essentially irrelevant. all that matters is making the correct decision.

oh yeah, i also played the scoop $100 main event and got all in on the turn with pocket jacks on a kj9 4 board, vs table outdraw specialist's aa. i was raising 30% of hands so at least i had fun :)

my favourite hand of the day however was cash vs a shortstack hit and runner. he had doubled up and carried playing. before the blinds could reach him allowing him his mouselike getaway, his kk was no match for my qq (all in preflop) even after the first card out was a king. i hit a beautiful runner runner runner runner flush.

almost bustoed

it is true that there are worse people to have hair like and worse people to look like and for not looking like anyone in the utd team, i am eternally grateful

sadly, no matter what i look like, i think i will always be retarded and prone to tilt unless i concentrate on it 100% of the time.

after winning lots last month i found myself, one week into this month, $9k down and back to level for the year. some of it bad luck (almost 10 buy ins according to allinev in 5k hands!) many coolers and bad play, but not as much as i thought. i took a few days off to relax and think about what i'd done.

i don't usually keep more than $10k online as there isn't much point but i had to deposit for the first time in a year for a reason that was not bonus related. so i loaded up the pokers tonight with 7 buy ins. i decided to put on 6 2/4 tables and not drop down as i didnt think i would bother taking it seriously. amazingly i ran level but hit some nice hands, hit draws which i hadn't yet done this month and my roll is somewhat healthier. if i finish this month level it will be a miracle which will make me very happy.

once again i think i have learnt lots about myself, about tilt, and that the difference between winners and losers is how one handles adversity. being able to control yourself and focus during the tough times is what i have been learning. most things i have learnt through poker i had already read about someone else experiencing the same thing. but for the most part it's not until you go through it yourself that you actually understand what they were trying to say.

if there's one thing that has helped me most it's being able to recognise tilt. once you have recognised it, and sometimes it's only very subtle, the reaction that you take depends on being able to accurately and precisely assess yourself. sometimes it's to refocus, sometimes it's to stop playing completely.

if you made it this far you deserve some light entertainment. i had to go to the opticians the other day. had to pick up some lenses and to get my sunglasses darkened. i turn up and am asked if i can wait for the sunglasses. i remind her it should only take a few minutes to do and she says, yes but she is busy with other customers. I look around. 2 are together and are looking at new frames. hmm, no help required there. the other two are also together and are simply sat down waiting for a cab.
proof all women can't multitask, even when one of the tasks involves doing nothing.

haircuts

i went to the hairdressers and asked for a 'vinny chase'



i was wearing glasses so had to take them off, and am too blinded by this to see exactly what is happening during the hair cutting process.

when the man was finished, i put them back on to see what i had become.



to my shock and horror i looked like ronaldo (without the lady)

now i'm pretty sure the hairdresser was not retarded because retards aren't allowed sharp scissors. however, there was no other explanation for the travesty that had occurred.

he picks up the mirror to show me the back of my head as i survey the damage that had taken place to my head. how does it look he asks from behind the back of head mirror.

situations like this, as all men know, have only one answer which i duly give him ...'fine'

fight me now please

http://loserforever.mybrute.com/

oh yeah

eclipse cloak moon coins

i recently added a statcounter thing to my site but can't work out how to display it on my site as a counter. i find these things funny. i first used one with the first website i ever built. it was for a charity called showtime challenge. i think i still have a link to them on the right. someone else has since revamped the website and made it look good. statcounters measure loads about websites including how people come to your site.

most are probably me (i recently noticed on firefox's most visited tab, my most visited website is my website. how narcissistic). one person however found my site by searching on google for
eclipse cloak moon coins

grape flavoured ice cream

(very late edit to the title. can't believe i forgot to mention the flavour. it was the whole point of the post)

i was just eating some and found it delicious. i informed a friend who told me it was nonsensical and compared it to cucumber or apple flavoured ice cream. i do not agree with the validity of his comment.

onto happier things including my mobile company 3. 3 weeks ago i sent them an email asking them to put skype on my phone for free. it's a pretty long story but essentially, i have a skpye enabled phone, and free unlimited internet. however, if i wanted to use skpye i would have to pay 3 a monthly fee. when i called them about this explaining i have free internet i was informed "that's not how the internet works". words could not express my shock at them sinking to new depths.

however, i decided to email their ceo to tell him what i thought of this debacle. obviously i also emailed their executive office as they would be the people acting out my request. i got a reply saying they would contact me within 10 working days. 12 working days later and no news, i again emailed their ceo and exec office simply saying

it's been 10 working days.

the next day they called me, and to my shock, amazement and pleasure, decided to let me have my free internet and use skype. what a touch!

luckily most companies have firstname.lastname@companyname.com (or .co.uk) addresses.

i had a thought that if you were gonna get a tattoo you should get a really offensive one and put it on your middle finger.

poker has been pretty horrific to me so far this month. back to the usual horribly negative all in luck. over $3k down this month, half of it in all in luck, and a bunch of coolers etc. end of the month i'll get my 4k bonus though so it's not all bad.

tbh i think i tilted a little in one session this month. i didn't really concentrate very well. this is bad especially when i'm playing 3/6 as i need to think a little bit.

proof

of american roundabouts. (note the graffiti on the road if you are unsure of the authenticity of the location). i had forgotten of the existence of this image until today.

the scoop of poker started today (20mins ago). i played in the first event. i didnt not however realise it was a rebuy. so i double rebuy with a boom or bust plan for the rebuy period. 5th hand in i flop bottom set on a 3 heart board. all the monies go in. my opponent has the nutflush.

byebye

hot run ends

just after i post about it. i'm not superstitious but i knew that would happen.

also didn't concentrate well, which is the why i didn't win as much as i should have.

got a holiday planned for later this month, and in may and june. need to play hard at weekends to keep up my supernova points. i'm gonna start playing more 3/6. it's pretty identical to 2/4 except slightly more regs i think. but lots of the same regs, and the regs are beatable anyway i feel.

hoping for a decent few months and by june i'll be rolled for 5/10

i saw a car crash a couple of days back. i could see it happening but there was nothing i could do. worse than that feeling was i was a little bit interested to see what happened. it was almost in slow motion. probably cos the vehicles were travelling very slowly. approaching a roundabout (you don't have these in america but it's like a four way stop but the person on the right has right of way) and a lorry was in the middle of two lanes. you could tell he was a moron driver and wanted to turn left probably. dude behind him was impatient and tried to sneak through on the left hand side of the lorry. in a formula one slow motion sort of way. the lorry decided to move slightly to the left, no space remained on the left for the car which was crushed and scraped a little bit by the lorry.

i think there is a good analogy in there for car crash poker when i play bad.

month end

tilted twice for a total of $4kish i think
year to date is 8 times and $14k

it may not seem like it but i think i'm doing better at this.

it also helps that about 80% my bad luck (all in ev) from the past 12months was repaid to me this month. almost a 5 figure month in dollars but only broke even tonight.

puts me where i want to be in terms of minimum monthly profit of around $3k

just need to maintain focus and concentration and also tilt less still! also next month will get me the $4k supernova bonus from last year's play which will be a nice touch.

i read an interesting blog post from one of the links on jethro's site but i can't find it again. it referred to poker being a strange game compared to how one learns in life. in life, you do good things and usually get rewarded. bad things do the opposite. the most simple example is pain. touching something hot causes pain and you learn that this is a bad thing for you.

poker is not the same in that bad plays can be rewarded. and it is this what keeps the fish coming back. however, it is also more subtle for you may not even realise the mistakes you have made in a hand you have won.

i also started playing some omaha hilo. i never really got the hang of omaha hi, but like hilo. i also find that, in the two brief sessions i played, i did better at fixed limit. it's a more mathematical game, although there is much less information known than in fixed limit holdem. in my first session of 225 i managed to run into 2 royals and quads once. lucky me! i was playing 6 tables which was a bit mental when trying to learn the game. gonna stick to 1/2 and 2/4 for now, with 4 tables max and see how i do. wont play much but it makes a nice change.

as for non poker content, i ate 400g of maltesers today.
i also saw episode one of series two of flight of the conchords. not as good as the first season. here's a great song from the first season



if you like it check out, 'youre so beautiful' 'Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros' and of course the great 'business time'