l a z y

every day for the past few months has been a struggle to get up in the morning. i have, what i would call, a heavy heart. it weighs me down, and i imagine it appears from the outside to be laziness.
This has not helped me with doing things during the day or the evening. Last week I think I bummed around for about 36 hours on Thursday. Couldn't even be bothered to head down to the vic to play some pokers. Tuesdays is seemingly a better tournament with more people for about the same price. Of course, the standard is the same because the people are the same. And I'm pretty sure a chimp from the zoo randomly hitting fold/call/raise would have a better roi than most of them. which makes it embarrassing that in 3 trips there i haven't cashed once.

in the meantime, I have spent two weeks thinking about my story, and needing to write better. I have a few more plans (e.g. better character falws, and decisions that they need to make with the consequences) and a few more chapters mapped out and so now I have started writing again. I will try to write 1.5k words a day, 5 days a week for a couple of weeks and then take stock again. This will include editing the first part, which will comprise about 70-80% of the book. No idea yet how the story will end, but i'll see what part I is like before I worry about that...

That is the plan, anyway. the new plan. The deadline of the old plan has been sent on a one way mission to investigate the surface of the sun. Part 1 was very much not finished in November. New plan is more realistic with a mid decemeber end for part I and 35k words.

current word total: 21.7k