worst run i've ever been on

i would first like to note the general tendencies of the last 4 sessions
hands = 6.5k
$2k below all in ev
went to showdown, below average in 3/4 sessions
won at showdown, well below average in 4/4 sessions
premiums dealt, aa only dealt less often than 2 other pocket pairs.
AKs less often than all but 2 other Axs
Ako less often than every other Ax
today was very depressing when within a few hands i flopped bottom set, got it in against an overpair and lost both times. should have known it would be bad when first hand got aipf with kk vs jj
8 buyins down in ev just today!
it's not helped that my play has been average at best for this month. this is the only thing i can control so this is where my focus will lie.
just hope i don't have to deposit money, and can actually win in february. one k down in january so need to reach 11k before i will go back to 2/4. still hoping to reach this by end of march. should reach a 4k bonus by end of march but that will not be included in the 10k total.

SEXism

this is what grinds my gears about sexism. whilst most people in the western world (under that age where you're seemingly encouraged to be racist) are against it, the people most vocally supporting it can be retarded.
there are two main issues i have. firstly, is that rather than wanting equality, the peoples who were 'wronged' want to be in more power to make up for it. as everyone should know, two wrongs don't make a right. just cos you make a mistake on the turn, doesn't mean you should compound it on the river.
the second thing that really drives me barmy (or used to, now i realise i no longer need to choose to feel rage at the idiocy of others) is that no one seems to understand that equality doesn't mean you are the same. the best example i can think of is that of identical twins. yes, they look the same, and yes you should treat them equally (or so i'm told, i don't have any) but it doesn't mean that you should treat them the same. they are different people!
similarly, men and women should be treated equally and fairly, which does not equate to treating them the same.

the reason i have posted about this has come about due to the dinosaur comments made by sky sports presenters about a female lines(wo)man / assistant ref. whilst i may have had a similar thought in my head along the lines of 'lol she doesn't know the offside rule' i didn't say it out loud. and i wasn't even in a studio. with a microphone i had left on.
(i also enjoy the apologies that come following these types of incidences where they never actually say sorry for their opinions; it seems they are entierly sorry for being caught).

but there follows a comment made by a lady here stating the game needs more women refs. whilst that sentiment is not one of contention, the comment that follows is retarded.

"But when they're appointed, sadly, they'll get the same abuse as their male colleagues."

lol. if you want equality, don't complain when they get abuse from fans. they aren't getting it for being women, but for being wankers and needing glasses. whilst the fact that no refs should be getting abuse is a valid one, it has nothing to do with sexism and if that's what they are trying to say in this article it is confusing, irrelevant to have added, and i apologise for not understanding.

disclaimer: as it comes from a journalist the quotes are likely to be made up or taken out of context.

danny trejo

my door has no doorbell. well, it has a doorbell which doesn't work. so the other morning someone is banging on the door. i know it's gonna be a delivery since they're the only people who visit unexpectedly. i open the door without looking through the peephole and i see this guy looking at me

he asks to come in. i say no. so he pulls out a knife. i don't say "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife" because i am a little scared and also not holding a knife. i manage to get him in the bathroom and i close the door from the outside. i'm not sure how this confused him but it gave me time to get my phone and keys from my room, get out the flat and lock him in. i call the police and they say they have no one around to help. even though there's someone thieving me whilst i talk to them! as i'm about to say, don't worry, i've found a gun and i'll go deal with it (based on a funny joke, i expect that will get them to show up) i am woken up from that dream by a banging on the door. i decided not to answer it. just in case.

iplayer

hopefully this post will rank up my blog when people search for iplayer.
iplayer makes me laugh almost every time i watch something on it. they have this warning which stops youngsters watching inappropriate material where you have to click a button to say you're over 16. how will a 5 year old get past such stringent measures? then again, i'm reliably informed that porn sites have the same strict security measures.

clouds

took this awesome picture. should definitely share it with the world. twas right after a short but violent lighting and thunder storm. the contrast in clouds and the colours as the sun sets are magnificent.

boiler broke down over the weekend. the worst part is having to wake up early to let the plumbers in to fix it. it's funny how many coincidences have occurred with this. Firstly, the hot water was on, downstairs flat did some gas works and then the boiler broke. apparently, unrelated. i'm not so sure.
secondly, with new boiler installed, kitchen sink tap drips. again, i'm told that it is unrelated.
like all trades, i can't really argue with these people and say it's rather a convenient excuse for you not to do any more work. not just because they know lots and i know nothing but also because i want them to finish the job well.

M&S

actually, just M. punishing myself.
having been playing really badly for the last few months of last year so i've dropped down a stake to repair my mind. it's not going particularly well. there are lots of things i'm doing badly. i really have to think about things better whilst playing. i slowly think i'm getting there. i'm gonna stay at 1/2 for at least 20k hands i reckon. maybe more. maybe till i get to $10k.
also beginning to worry that i will begin to need more money soon. this will lead to an increase in play rather than getting a job just yet i hope! i've been really bad at organising my time properly and this will change.
one thing i've always wanted in order to improve my life is a whiteboard. i finally inherited one this week. so far it contains my new fitness regime (currently unfilled in as i haven't started yet. oops.) and also an imitation escher diagram, the devil fork. so it's working out well so far.

was about to eat a chocolate but don't see the point as i'm about to brush my teeth and go to sleep. eating chocolate now would feel like a waste since i wouldn't get to savour the flavour in my mouth.

and finally, the alarm just went off in my roommate's room. it's 330am. and he's not getting up for a work shift. his lady friend is with him. and he sets the alarm so that he can kick her out.

healthy eating

in not a bid to get healthier i have begun eating more oranges. it's simply that i choose them over chocolate at the moment since they are nearer. i think i usually go for chocolate because it never involves washing/peeling not eating parts of it along with all the other hassles of eating fruit.

and i just lost my train of thought after having to take another ladybird out my room. both red with black spots. i remember seeing yellow ones when i was younger and being amazed. i still get amazed when i see new animals. i only found out about the okapi a few years ago and then shortly afterwards i saw one in london zoo!

hmm, another ladybird flying around my lamp like a fly on crack.

just went outside in the rain to wash my car. i thought it was a great idea, saves me taking a bucket, and saves water. sadly, there wasn't enough rain. and i need to t-cut and polish and wax my car which you can't do in the rain, or direct sunlight either. lucky i live in england where it's usually overcast.

weird dreams

first of all one that i can't remember whether it was a memory from a film or a dream? one guy facing another rips out his septum. sounds like it could be from a film. except he then places it in his nose where his septum should be. I'm unclear as to whether it was to replace one that he was missing, or in addition to an existing one.
then i have had an F1 dream where i was out on a sunday so spent the day not checking the bbc website to avoid knowing the result so i could watch it later (disclaimer: i have never and will never do this!) except i part checked the results accidentally and when i started watching the replay on iplayer i realised it was boring so just found out the results. vettel won and webber was knocked out. however, the weird part is that just as they were lining up on the grid, a coded messages was sent to the red bull drivers about elephants being cold. martin brundle later explained that this meant the team decided to not support both drivers equally, but have vettel as number 1, and webber as number 2. stranger still is that i think team orders are now allowed.

went for a run yesterday to try to get a bit fitter. i used to be able to jog for quite some time. yesterday i ran to the next tube station. the way back was uphill and almost killed me. i kept having to stop. except at one point, a terribly long hill, i overtook a lady pushing a pram going at an incredible rate (her, not me). I wanted to pause for breath but felt a bit embarrassed lest she overtake me so had to keep going. maybe i should employ her as my motivational coach.

material provided for me

i think writing this blog more often will force the universe into providing me material. not long after my previous post i went out and stopped off on the way home to pick up dinner in the form of a kebab. (flafel actually). whilst waiting, a cross-eyed chinese dude walks in, with satchel, and asks if anyone wants a DVD. This reminded me of the time about 10 years ago playing 5-a-side when someone i barely knew who we were playing with asks my friend "do you like DVDs?"
this was his opening gambit into "would you like to buy a film off me?"
brilliant. we still laugh about it to this day.
so anyway, i was thinking that thanks to the internet this chinese dude no longer makes any money since if you're gonna steal a film, you might as well steal it for free rather than a small fee. but no! the guy working in this shop must never have heard of the internet as he requested a film.

estate agents

no one likes them. not even their mothers. i recently been helping someone move flat and the agency are run by morons. a lot of little things annoyed me about them such as not cleaning the flat properly, leaving things broken etc but the worst was their blatant flouting of the law when they decided to finally deliver some furniture. i asked them for at least 30 mins notice, which is quite reasonable when they're supposed to give 24 hours. i asked in writing and on the phone. of course, they gave me 5 mins notice, and when i turned up 7 minutes later it was all delivered. this was pretty much the final straw so i sent them an email saying how it was disappointing and shouldn't happen again. i finished it with the sentence

Further, I would like the name, number and email address of the manager of your 'agency' to make an appointment and register my displeasure.

I sent it on Friday, since it happened Thursday afternoon. A minute later i get a phone call from one of the disgruntled mongs. who firstly tells me he is the owner/manager (i laughed on the inside) and that he doesnt like receiving "these sorts of emails on a Friday afternoon" (i laughed a little on the ouside). Avoiding asking him if it were better that I should send future ones on Monday mornings he launched into some tirade or other. sadly, the moral of this story is that they are now relatively accommodating. I find it disappointing that they should only choose to do this when people have to complain after being wronged. i remember when i had a job as a finance department, I always tried to treat the nicer customers better than the horrible complaining ones.

google searches

lots of people found me thanks to vinny chase.
but someone found me using the less well used search term:
"i would love to meet you, get to know you and show you round the flat so that you can see what you are renting but i have been having problems with ti" which had visits = 1.

i also had the search term "mudwig blogs" with visits = 0
which i think is amazing. no people got to my blog searching google for that. i wonder what other terms people didn't search to get to my blog.

I would also like to have a belated party to myself for reaching 20 followers. you may see it says 21 but one is me. which doesn't count. and i only joined so that it would reach 10 as a nice round number instead of nine. i'm still more a fan of popular and better blogs.

i've taken to doing two things to improve my poker playing. firstly i've withdrawn some monies so dropped to 1/2 to build ip money and confidence. secondly i have written some notes which say
"SIT DOWN
BREATHE
RELAX"
i have this covering my hem shortcut so i can't play without reading this. i forgot this and dropped 5 buy ins today. then i remembered and won them back. i fear it was more due to luck than breathing but hopefully my brain will think otherwise and i'll condition myself to meditate for 2 minutes each time before playing.

also, i was thinking of blogging every day, or every other day. i would have to make it funnier. which is a lot of pressure. but also don't know if any one reads it that frequently to make it worthwhile?

once again

firstly, an article i've been meaning to post for a while. it elegantly shows journalistic standards. though it does come from the daily mail which is hardly a bastion of intelligence.
why is this article so retarded? in the penultimate paragraph it states
"The player, who cost £5million in August,..."
though you may have noticed the caption for the first photograph says
"Family affair: Konchesky has failed to win over the Kop since his £4m move"
perhaps a simple typo neither the author or sub-editor noticed. or perhaps they make up the transfer figures half the time. or maybe they wanted to cover more bases. whatever the reason, it's pretty slack.

right now, i have more pressing concerns. i once again find myself needing the toilet. alas, my flatmate who didn't want two bathrooms when we were looking for places to reside is in the shower. and even if i knock whilst about to piss myself (not through laughing) he won't hear since the radio is on at full volume. i know this because i can hear magic fm (which, if you've never heard of it, you're lucky as it's terrible) and it wasn't till after i moved in he told me how he likes long showers. really long prune inducing showers. i think people started pissing in bottles or sinks because their housemates didn't leave the bathroom, especially in the mornings. then they got used to it so continued to do it when driving or working at the computer. and as society gets more crowded and the shower to person ration decreases and people get lazier it'll probably become more acceptable.

the other day i went to shower only to discover my shower gel had been thrown away. by him. the irony was that he left his empty bottles in there for months, yet throws mine out before it's finished?!

and today's final gripe is that he has filled up the 250Gb sky+ hard drive with simpsons. he then deleted all the tv (two shows of 8 episodes) i had saved; luckily i'd watched them. thus he could completely fill up the hard drive with simpsons that he has seen before and/or doesn't watch now.

get cape wear cape fly had a song that went "you are not your job, you are not the clothes you wear, you are the words that leave your mouth, so speak up..."
as a doctor i would have expected him to be unselfish, but it appears that you are in no way a reflection of your job. which is strange because one of the first things you usually ask when meeting someone is "what do you do?"
now i feel this is rather a redundant question and perhaps i should start asking people "what are you like?"

i will choose to not be annoyed by any of this. though it is much tougher than i anticipated, as it is how i imagine gonorrhoea to be - a constant source of irritation.

proactive

lsat year i think i said how the new year was irrelevant to me, and the only reason i use it for poker results is for convenience with tracking software. i still stand by that. i preface the following post with that as a disclaimer since the following may appear as a resolution of some sort, but it's not. well, it is, but it's nothing to do with a new year, it's because i starting reading the 7 habits of highly effective people. i started a long time ago, but got bored after the intro section. on saturday i returned to it, reading section 1. the first thing that struck me was how many of the major points it mentions, i had learnt through poker. for example, there was a little bit about projecting your thoughts onto others as a default way of thinking. (coincidentally, i read on article on this from a writer on betfair just days earlier)

however, one thing i have learned which wasn't mentioned in this book was the difference between being told something, understanding it and being able to apply it. eg, one of the first things i heard about in poker was it's a game for the long run. immediately, it is clear that this is true. sadly, it took many many hours of play to understand this, and even longer to be able to properly apply it to my thought process and play.

i found it easy to autopilot when playing and not concentrating on applying any new fixes to my game until they become a part of my autopilot process. and i find it can be very easy to fall back on bad habits such as this. i'm pretty sure that this can also be applied to real life.

i use the term autopiloting, as it's a familiar one when playing lots of tables of poker. without full dedication to each table (i find 3 the maximum i can play with an almost full dedication to all) a lot of the processes in making decisions become more automated. and then you are playing a reactive game rather than a proactive one. this is what i have taken from the first chapter of the book. whilst this method is fine for poker, because my hourly rate increases (and the hourly rate is the most important thing to me), this process is not good in life in general.
the second thing i have taken from this chapter is that all your actions are done by your choice. again, this is almost too obvious a thought, but the implications when you understand and then apply it, are vast. whilst you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your response. aside from physical pain, you can control your response. it may not be easy but it should always possible. i find all i have to do is remember i have a choice. when driving, if the schmohogs in front are driving terribly, i am learning to think "i don't need to get annoyed by them". getting annoyed doesn't help. (an even more favourite saying of mine is now "change the things i can control, accept the things i can't, and have the wisdom to tell the difference").

sometimes it's really hard to not just react to others even when you know you have a choice. i find it easier for now to reframe my thoughts prior to choosing to not be annoyed. so instead of thinking the retard driver is a retard but not to be annoyed, i decide instead to praise my own driving for anticipating their idiocy, and that i once again managed to survive on onslaught of drivers who seem to be attempting to kill me.

i will also apply this to when i play poker. when i get outdrawn, or impatient, i will remember i have a myriad of choices. i don't have to get annoyed by anyone else, i can take my time, i can relax, i do have to concentrate if i want to do well, and ultimately, i don't have to play right now if i don't want to.

the goal you set for yourself after this first chapter of the book is to spend one day thinking about the language you use, to remind yourself you have the choice (ie not saying i have to, but instead i want to, etc) and also to spend thirty days being proactive rather than reactive.

at the moment, when i wake up, i don't think about any of this. i hope at the end of thirty days, it will be ingrained in me in such a way that when i wake up i will consciously be choosing a lie in when i choose to lie in.

one more thing i want to do is to read something before i start playing to get myself in the right frame of mind. i found a few things but nothing yet which is perfect. if you know of anything let me know. if i find something, i will of course post it.

for now, that's all i can be bothered to type. i've improved my posture and seating position such that i can type for longer. i think the most important thing i'm starting to do is to type properly ie be less lazy and use all my fingers especially little finger for backspace. this has greatly increased the amount of time i can type for without massive wrist/arm/shoulder/neck pains.