head in hands

just finished playing. this month i've played about 5 sessions and been hit by the most ridiculous outdraws. runner runner runner super gutshot straight? no problemo. oh ook, i hit 2 pair on the turn/river. opponent has a set. nice. i have made no money from any big hands. i think i'm still paying ok, not much has been frittered away on tilt but i'm now down 5k for the month and with 5k left online i either have to redeposit or drop down.

mostly need to work on improving. something i haven't been doing since august. oh, and improve on playing better. checked my yearly results and without bonuses it's not down to about 5k. doesn't really seem worth it at the moment.

need a serious rethink of life strategy at the moment.

what a depressing post. i'll cheer myself up with joke:

I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him."
They might as well just say, "He's a dickhead, but you'll get used to it."

for the first time in a week i shaved my face

i scared myself catching my reflection in the window this morning and knew it was time to shave. truthfully, i knew a few days ago. when i can see the hair on my upper lip out the corner of my eye (the bottom corner, it would seem) it's probably time to shave.

been out for a couple of drives in the snow. the danger element also coincides with a fun element. or maybe they're the same element. either way, it's quite enjoyable to slide round corners even though you have to drive slow. maybe if this happens next winter i'll start selling snow tyres. and snowmobiles. i'm surprised they don't have them in scotland where it snows every winter. because snowmobiles aren't just useful in snow. they so much fun. oh, and since they have tank tracks they work on not snow too.

managed to cut both corners of my lip. again, a body part that doesn't really have corners, yet you'll know what i mean. i imagine it's something they do on jackass for a laugh. what that show doesn't depict however, is the pain they will suffer when the cameras stop rolling. physically and mentally (probably).

i also have one gripe (at least) with those kebab chefs. when you ask for the spicy sauce, for unknown reasons, some of them don't seem to spread it out. instead they put it all in one little place. so instead of some spice flavour throughout the sandwich (if i may call it that) you are subject to none at all. except in one surprise bite which makes you cry, and leaves you rendered helpless like you've been pepper sprayed intravenously.

oh and played some poker, got an ev backlash. 3 buy in's down for the month so far. wanted to finish 8 up for nice round yearly numbers. think i'll have a little time to play in the next week or so, and then none till february.

confirmation

according to ricky gervais i am in idiot. this is because i think karl pilkington is a genius. he may be an accidental one, but he is amazing. his thought process is like a child (from outnumbered) crossed with einstein. and it's at least one level above mine.

i figured he'd be on twitter but he's not. i decided to try twitter. to write down my thoughts so i wouldn't forget them. i don't seem to get a following on there. probably because i'm not famous.

from the last three days here are things i would have otherwise forgotten:

i hate waking up hungry. i did this again today. i don't know why it happens so often. it may be related to my sleep pattern. where late at night, for example now at 244am, i am not tired. but i know i will be tired in the morning when i wake up. which brings me onto another tweet - why does sleeping make me more tired? i am awake when going to sleep and tired when waking up. this is the opposite reason for sleeping. i must be doing something wrong.

anyway, my ps3 is nice. i have been trying to get good at cod modern warfare 2. though i don't really know what i'm doing, i noticed when driving a couple of days ago my reaction times have improved. i blame this on too much cod. maybe i will play some more.

and today, whilst driving, i was escorted much of the way my a bmw in front and behind me. i was lucky to survive.

finally, the only real news which has happened to me of late is an estate agency showing off their abilities to lie, deceive and cheat to your face. i will mention this more in my next post after i receive the contract i have signed but they haven't given back yet. these people are as useful as jellyfish.

justifications

people lie to themselves all the time about why they do things. such as, it's ok to steal from tesco's because they're such a big company they account for this in their prices/won't notice or any other 'reason' from a myriad of excuses. this is purely to justify the action they are taking which they know is wrong but don't want to admit to themselves.
i try to avoid doing this. i'm mental enough without having to keep track of the lies i tell myself.

there is however, one area of my life which i just justify by saying "it's ok, it's for poker, poker pays for it"
i did this with my computer last year, and just now with a evoluent mouse i bought from amazon. amazing mouse it is. clicking at the right time, or rather not clicking at the wrong time, is taking some getting used to but it's really nice to hold.
sadly, still struggling with my wrist pain. i thought i actually need the mouse to protect my wrists so must be getting it. i don't even know if i was lying to myself or not.
i have however, come to the conclusion that the mouse was only a small part of my problem. the keyboard/desk height/chair height situation is the real problem. typing gets excruciatingly awkward after a sentence, especially in my right hand. i cannot find a comfortable height for anything, even typing on my lap as yakshi, and many less famous people responding via google, have said.
so i may need to look at a new keyboard and i can be sure i at least know why i need it and why i need to pay for it.
two reasons currently affect my thinking in these matters. i have no source of income other than poker and i've basically stopped playing for the last 6 weeks or so. secondly, i hate having possessions. owning things just leads me to worry about all the things i own, having to move them when i move is a pain, and most things are completely unnecessary. computer (with internet!), phone, bed, a few clothes, food, car and library card (in that order) are pretty much all i need to be happy.
i don't understand how my housemate (who is male) can have three pairs of identical shoes. and about 8 smart shoes. i don't get it. 1 pair boots, 1 pair everyday shoes, 1 pair trainers, 1 pair football boots, 1 pair astros and 1 pair smart shoes are all that is ever going to be necessary. other things i don't understand about my housemate include that he leaves empty shower gel containers in the shower for months abd when he runs out uses mine without mentioning it to me (i couldn't not notice because close to half of it disappeared in under a week); then a week after throwing his empties out, he throws mine out. not empty. i don't even know how to bring this up.

speaking of happiness, i was reading a karl pilkington book and it turns out the weird stuff he finds on the internet aren't at all made up. ideas such as the see through toaster were already invented. and sheep following each other off a cliff really happened. i guess that's why they're called sheep but 1500 of them went off the edge. and the best part? 1050 survived as their falls were cushioned by the first 450.

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That would ensure everyone knows it's a 50/50 chance of getting what you want rather than thinking you probably made the right choice


So I played the first ukircoop (I think that's what it's called). It was a $50 rebuy. I only needed the initial buy in (100) and the top up. With 90 of the 280 starters remaining I was top for a minute or two. A couple of mistakes later and I was back in the pack. approaching the bubble, 5 handed I open utg with KQo to 2100 at 500/1000, with my 60k stack. I get reraised all in by the big blind. I laughed till i realised I'd misclicked and opened to 21,000. Pissed off I called to be shown qq and say goodbye to the almost guaranteed minimum of $400+ if I wasn't such a retard.

shock horror

england don't win the world cup bid because
a)they are too developed, needs to go to country that will build new stadiums
b)twatter and pratini don't like england
c)fifa is corrupt, coincidentally this revelation was uncovered by british journalists
d)all of the above

following this, and the real reason for my post, graham taylor announces (toward the bottom of the link) "I'm just surprised that we're surprised," he said.
Following this laughing at people for being surprised:
Taylor also criticised the decision to give the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, adding on BBC Radio 4's PM programme: "It really is surprising."

i no longer feel bad for not listening to him when he talks as clearly he can't be bothered, so why should i have to?

smiles

the worst football team in the world
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/29/football-team-concedes-227-goals
the highlights include losing 55-0 (had 7 players and no keeper)
11 games, 11 lost, 227 conceded
but my favourite part of the article is that they aren't bottom of the league as another team has had points deducted.

london town is notorious for being miserable. or more specifically, the people that inhabit it. i don't think it's as bad as others make out. last week (prior to the snow) i went out and in one day made two complete strangers smile! one was when i stepped off the pavement and into the road as the pavement was narrow and the young lady smiled in appreciation. the second was when i offered a fake seat (not really a seat, but the cushion part near the seats) on a tube to a different young lady.

also, i think i need to point out to people who are now finding this awesome blog with Netgear N150 WLAN card probelms, it doens't like kaspersky, which is a real pain. and I have still not been able to figure how to stop it disconnecting after the computer wakes up from sleep. other than unplugging and plugging it back in.

finally, i am still waiting to hear from the mongs at BA about my compensation from march's volcanic eruption where they forgot to fly me home leaving me stranded in sweden and fighting to catch many trains home. it's been almost 9 months and dealing with them, they might as well be based in India. In a mental home.