oops

so over the last few days managed to get back to level for the year only to do 15 buy ins tonight with non stop setup hands. i can't really believe it just happened.

waking up early

i don't know how people do this. i asked a few but they weren't able to succinctly describe it well enough for me to be able to copy their thought processes.
it's most depressing in winter when it's dark when you wake up, but i no longer have that excuse for staying in bed wasting away my life. really, i should just set my alarm half an hour later and just get up immediately.

also it's come to my attention that australians have difficulty saying the word email. instead they say what sounds like a-mao.

went to tesco today to put petrol in and had loads of free money vouchers that they sent me for previously using them for petrol. this is equivalent to supermarket rakeback. lots of companies do this, like airlines, mobile phone companies and i thought how funny/stupid it would be if they only offered it to new customers. but that's exactly what loads of poker sites do. it's also what barclays bank do with their ISAs, where only new customers can get the amazing 4% interest rate, but existing customers only get about 0.000005%. not that i'm bitter. (i can just move it somewhere else obviously!)

and i just found out the most awesome thing about skype. you can edit your previous message! this has hilarious consequences because after they say anything, you can change your previous message to make them feel awkward. and initially people won't realise that you've done it.
hours of fun!

and sometimes

more than hating poker i hate myself. but i'll leave that for another time.

so im trying to play some more heads up at 1/2 to win some monies.
i am getting slightly distracted by a new tv show called white collar.
it's pretty good, with decent story, acting, dialogue etc
it also has starring in it, tiffani thiessen. who i'm sure you'll all know better as kelly kapowski. an onomatopoeic surname if ever i heard one as her beauty still smacks you in the face when you see her.

speaking of onomatopoeic surnames, the greatest one i ever heard was that of an american footballer called seau (pronounced say-ow).

sometimes

sometimes i hate the poker. i think i would hate it less if i was better at it.
my new aims are to
1) become good at heads up. i'll settle for not being retardedly bad.
2) get in profit according to ptr at 2/4
currently i'm down millions so i'll see how long that takes.
3) stop making stupid aims, and just play better.

broke even tonight. made about $700 in bonuses to soothe the pain. also tried a couple of tournaments. hit the chip lead in one and played 'mr big stack', which definitely helped but still busted kk vs 66. played a second tourney at the same time and ended up mini cashing in both which is depressing as 1st place was 5 figures in each. i would have settled for winning either.

anyways, in 6 weeks i'll officially be a bum (i hope) so will be able to play regularly, see if i can regularly manage 100k hands per month, $10k per month and not being insane.

and now a few hours sleep before freezing myself in sunday league football. how this winter has lasted all winter has shocked everyone. it's been months. it's not supposed to be this way.

omegle

so a website i forgot about for passing about 2 minutes of time is omegle.com
this is im for strangers. most people are boring, but occasionally, i make my self laugh

Stranger: hi where are u from
You: hi where are YOU from?
Stranger: FinLaNd
You: you are finnish
Stranger: WTF
Stranger: are u retard?
You: semi-retard

Stranger: well at least u dun have to meet someone who is a pain in the ass
Stranger: right?
You: i hope you dont mean that too literally
You: if so, i would worry a bit about you
Stranger: used to
You: is it less painful now?

lost in translation

the funny thing about this film is that there is almost no dialogue (let alone foreign talk) for anything to get lost (or even translated)

so it appears i have finally exhausted the internet having found and read these sites

sickipedia
lamebook
textsfromlastnight
passiveaggressivenotes

anyone know of other funnies, feel free to let me know

so i hit some tables on the weekend.
i've noticed that i've been getting dealt 44 a lot this year. so i checked my hands, noting that the correct amount of times to get it is 0.45% yet after 18000 hands i'm at 0.60% which is 108 times instead of 81
i also got set under set 3 times in about 500 hands on t'weekend amongst many other annoying things, but luckily i've been outdrawing people to make up for all of those things.

beginning to get worried i'm not good enough to win my millions via this method. might have to think about alternate avenues of revenue. hmm

in the meantime, here's a song

i fought the law

and, I won!
yeah.
though when i say law i mean council.
and when i say fought, i mean sent a moderately worded letter to them with photographic attachments.
and some would say i didn't win, i just avoided a parking fine, but i say money not lost = money won (thanks for that tip mike caro, true in life as much as on the tables).

i went to the shops with my new found wealth and saw some olive oil, some virgin olive oil and some extra virgin olive oil. i think they aren't understanding the word virgin very accurately.
it's like saying, this fellow here, he is alive.
the dude next to him, is extra alive.

unless of course they are referring to superpowers. i used to think i didn't have any superpowers but i'm pretty sure my hearing is abnormally sharp to quiet sounds. like that women who was briefly in heroes before syler took the power. of course, it might just be tinnitus playing a joke on me.
i found out one of my friends does have a superpower. he can remember lots of conversations from many years ago as if they were yesterday and bizarrely as though they are pictures. not a useful super power, and not as exciting as x-ray vision or predicting the future, but a superpower nonetheless.

yanuare

was a busy month. i only played for two weeks, got quite a few hands in but things went according to a very bad plan written by an evil person with some sort of foreign accident i couldn't identify.

here is the proof:



i hope to make that back in february. starting......(not now). first i must get some ice cream because i don't think it's been cold enough outside recently.