some advice

1) do not under any circumstances use deep heat (neither the spray nor the gel) on
a) your groin
b) your eyes

i'm not sure which is worse. the eyes are bad, i imagine it's like being maced. when used in the groin region it makes your balls feel like they are shooting out fire. on a similar scale to the sun.

2) do not drink pure ribena. the sugar hit you take in conjunction with the insane amount of flavour in one go sends your brain into overload. probably like taking all the drugs at once.

when you spit out the offending drink it looks, to someone who's just walked into the room, like a crime scene.