the punishment fits the crime

A US judge has decided to make the punishment fit the crime by forcing noisy people to listen to Barry Manilow songs.

Judge Paul Sacco introduced the new form of sentence after becoming fed up dealing with repeat offenders.

Most of them had repeatedly played their car or home stereo too loud or were involved in band practices which disturbed neighbours.

"This is a way, when I look back, of teaching manners to people," the judge, from Fort Lupton Municipal Court in Colorado, said.

People who violate the town's noise laws are required to listen to the judge's choice of music at high volume for one hour.

The selection includes Manilow classics, as well as the theme song from children's television show Barney And Friends and other apparently 'uncool' music.

Court officials take surveys after each session to check whether the offenders enjoyed the music or not.

If anyone is found to actually like one of the tunes, it is removed from the playlist to make sure they are only listening to music they hate.

Judge Sacco said the scheme has been far more successful in cutting down repeat offenders than the previous system of fines.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Barry-Manilow-Songs-And-Barney-Theme-Used-To-Punish-Noisy-People-In-Fort-Lupton-Colorado/Article/200811415161978?f=rss


This reminded me that i had forgotten to take responsibility for my results.

Been playing infinitely better today than of late and ran neutral for ev! woo.

4k hands to play in the next 27.5 hours to get $250 bonus.

then 3k hands to get supernova status

will post sick month graph tomorrow when finished playing

boom

the other thing that makes me angry is other drivers obviously.

as for poker, this months graph is going to be the most disgusting i have ever created. will post at end of month.

last night i managed to get $4k down quite quickly. i then spent about 4 hours to get back to just under $1k down and called it a night. thought the singing birds were calling it a morning. actually, there weren't any singing birds, presumably cos they've all frozen to death or flown to a warmer country.

i always wondered about people living in really cold places. why did they ever settle there? and why didnt someone just wake up one day and think "this is horrible. im moving somewhere warmer."

an unrelated thought i had when i woke up today was "why don't I move somewhere warmer"

carrots for lunch

honestly, who eats carrots for lunch?
once maybe.
but every single day?!

not only that, every thing else being eaten is a horribly crunchy food.

and he sits right opposite me, no more than a metre from my face as he uncontrollably munches like a pneumatic drill.

add to this a constant year round sniffing year, plus an annoying habit of making weird sounds by short sharp breathes of air as he opens his mouth (almost impossible to describe) again enacted throughout the day, every single damn day, one metre from my face.

this is one of very few things that annoys me. noisy eaters, coupled with a bunch of other completely unnecessary noises one metre from my face. it's enough to make my blood boil.

if i play poker live and people eat at my table usually i'll need to take five mins and leave till they're done!

i think i'm mental, but i have found others with similar feelings towards this. where most people can relate to this is the popcorn eating that people do in cinemas. food free cinemas are a utopian dream for me. (notice that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word "an", even though the next word begins with a u")

unreal. i do anything to get away from it.

seriously, it's enough to make me go to the lab and do some work.

best story ever

sadly, it wasn't me, but this is pretty funny

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

i have been:
not playing poker
not putting on weight
not writing down funny thoughts

the only thing i can remember doing is calling 3 (mobile phone company to all the br000se's out there) where they put me on a conference call with 02 (another mobile phone company) but where i wasn't supposed to talk.

a ridiculous state of affairs and something that should only be in a sitcom, and not occur in real life. sadly, it was my life.

i realise i have £240 in an ipoker account and can't decide what to do with it, there's no point in it doing nothing. so do i
withdraw it
try to play sensibly and win more
stick it all on one cash table and see how well i can do
or just play tournies looking for a big score?

simple plan

as suggested by the title, this is my simple plan

by the 18th of Dec i will aim to add one stone (14 pounds to americans) (6.35kg to you non imperialists) of weight to myself. obviously this does not include clothing or balancing things on my head etc.

currently i'm abut 10.5-11 stone (150 pounds). obviously, the ideal is for it all to be added in the form of muscle, though a bit of fat won't disappoint me.

i have tried this before by doing things like weights, 4 meals a day, drinking alcohol (great source of calories!), and now i will be combining this all together along with any other plans i, or you, can think of.

also, as i have it in writing, i cannot go back without going to the effort of deleting this post. which is far too much effort.

i guess 3 pounds a week should be ok to do.

gl me.

tip of the day

if you are pouring a glass of carbonated drink, and the froth is about to overflow the sides of the container, stick your finger in the drink. this will quickly destroy the froth leading to a non spillage situation. something to do with the surface tension of the bubbles i believe.

whilst on the subject, i was thinking of can's vs bottles. bottles are 2litres which is the equivalent (near enough) of 6 cans. if they were the same price which would you go for?

pro's for cans is that the fizz is always high when you drink them and you get to make the cool can opening sound

pro's for bottles is that you don't have to have you drink regimented in 330ml amounts, but can drink any amount you wish.

i can't decide.

in the past week i've been on the phone to 3 sadly getting an upgrade on my phone. i didn't really want to stay with 3 but their offer was ridiculous, and hopefully i will be able to bankrupt them. what i liked was the lengths they went to in order to ensure i remained a customer. i've never felt so loved. they even put me on a conference call with o2 to prove that everyone charges a minimum of 1min for phone calls (ie all calls under 1min count as 1 min, and then it's per second billing after that)

that's one decision i have made, which i hope not to regret.

posting when youre winning

is easy, peasy

i remember when i won my biggest ever pot. my previous record was set at $5/10 when i felt like giving it a go. current record is at $2/4 and was a 3 way all in on the flop of 2h4h5h with me holding the AhKh. held up and an almost $2k pot came my way!

however, i also remember my worst times. i think i lost around $4k in a day playing cash. some of it was bad luck with which i wont bore you, but about half of it was bad play.

i did like that the following session i didnt tilt. in the past one bad session would tilt me for weeks! not this time. in fact, in the next session, i was outplaying the btn from my bb so much so he started raising 5 and 6 times the blind preflop. haha.

but the best thing was a guy i'd played against in the past, and who is decent and a pain to play against sat on my right. after ONE orbit, he left! i hope it's cos he didn't wanna play me. that would be a nice touch. especially since i don't think i've ever seen any one EVER table select on stars. you get a table of 6 reg's and they all sit there just for the fpps or something! ha.

i find if often takes time to let the new biggest wins and losses sink in. the biggest losses feel awful. each time you hit a new record downswing its still painful and i feel sick to the stomach unable to sleep and it feels like it'll never pass. i begin to question myself - do i know what i'm doing, am i mentally stable enough to play etc etc. i think i would like to be over wins and losses in about 30 mins. like stu ungar. maybe one day, eh?

funnily enough, all these exciting events took place in the past 48 hours.


thats enough nonsense for one year, i'll leave you with mary.

Mary had a little dress
It was split in half
Every time she took a step
The boys could see her calf

Mary had another dress
It was split down the side
Every time she took a step
The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another dress
It was split down the front
But she never wore that one


(i sent it to a friend. his reply "it's a pity she never wore it")

i'm back baby

went to kyiv and venezia, so hardly around the world but two places with highly opposing cultures

kiev is a standard eastern european city with the beautiful architecture spoiled by the unfriendly nature of the locals. i dont think i saw a person smile. it's like the london underground.

venice on the other hand is highly peaceful due to the pedestrian nature of the streets. i.e. no automobiles. it's either canal or streets for walking only. whilst it is a very old place with very old buildings they are all churches and therefore not particularly interesting on the inside. kinda like most pretty girls, but thankfully not all of them!

onto the poker front, my aim this month is to play 30k hands, but i will be happy with 25k. this has only begun today on the 8th and as i am only playing when i feel like it, i will be surprised if i reach that goal.

need to play more on weekends obv, averaging about 1500 hands per day. todays offering has been 699. not the best start.