are penguins just pretending they can't fly so we don't get jealous?

i'm pretty much done for the month now, have just cleared the final stars bonus and may now need to concentrate on other things during this year so my play may drop off quite a bit.
last few days of this month i ran super hot as can be seen by graph below (didn't check results from when i saw i'd lost loads and been level for the month, until just now!)

mornings have been good poker wise but terribly scary in life =. last week i awoke to see a spider dangling from the ceiling mere inches from my face. upside no less. i think it was showing off.
this morning i was woken at six by a buzzing sound. i bolted upright and turned to my pillow to see a wasp casually strolling along it and away from me. by the time i got to the light switch and found my wasp catching device (ikea tupperware) it had disappeared. thus, i could not get back to sleep. in fact, i was worried i would never be able to sleep in my room again but i left the light on (obviously) and the wasp was attracted to it. i don't know why they are attracted to lights, someone should tell them they aren't moths.

also noticed the wcoop main event just finished. someone just won over two million dollars! much as i hate tournaments, that makes me want to play more

how far can you stick a cotton bud into your belly button?

i find 'wake schedule' to be a more appropriate description of hours i choose to be awake, instead of sleep schedule/cycle since i don't remember those hours as clearly.
i am experimenting with mine so that i will wake early (6-7am) do some wake things like throw cold water on my face and some cereal in my mouth. cereal, apparently, is not a proper breakfast. the story seems to go mr kellogs decided it's what people should for breakfast and luckily for him (and rather coincidentally it would seem) he had a cereal making factory which has made him lots of money.
still, i love coco pops.

i have managed to play some pokers recently. my frame of mind has been better of later and today i noticed i got really annoyed with a play i made. just got stacked twice on two tables but neither annoyed me at all. not  the marginal one where in a squeezed pot i bet called the turn with aq on an ahi 3 flush board, nor did the outdraw annoy me. instead it was a hand against a tard where i had jj on a aa3t board where i bet and he raised leaving himself $24. i called knowing he would bet the river. river was a 3, i checked he checked. i then realised thats why i have him labelled as a mong. i should have obviously either shoved turn or bet for him on the river. either way he would have called. and playing how i did cost me $24. some would say that's not much when you buy in for $400. but if your hourly rate is 5bb per hour (which is not terrible) then thats worth over 1 hours play. mistakes like this should be the easiest to fix since they are basic things. other than that i seem to be playing mostly well, running amazingly and not checking balance till end of the month which will be tomorrow for me since im busy rest of the week.

need to wake up early tomorrow too to play my remaining for hands to clear the wcoop bonus ($100! though i may end up spending it all at once. on chocolate)

how do they get ships into bottles?

computer games seem to be going the way of interactivity. not just voice recognition, but full body motion sensors, so for tekken you'll be able to act out all your moves (quite how they expect us to do head high reverse roundhouse kicks i am unsure). football games you'll be able to run around kicking imaginary footballs.
call me old fashioned, but if i want that i'll go outside. the whole point of a ps3 is so that can sit down and mash buttons without doing anything energetic.

reason #153 my flatemate is  a turdburglar
following house party i start clearing things up so i don't have to awake to a place that looks like birmingham. he just sits there and watches the sky tv he didn't even want. after 2 bin bags full i quit seeing as i refuse to do any more alone. i make joke how perhaps he's just waiting for a cleaner?
next day i go to school. i come back, flat is clean. oh, he got cleaner to do it. great idea. but why didn't he tell me before i started cleaning it all up?

cleared the 4k supernova bonus. got doomswitched and lost 4k in next session. having made supernova with little chance of 200k vpps, and no more bonuses it seems almost pointless to continue playing there. will look for new sites to play on. tried betfair. software so so bad it was as if they hired a genius to make it that bad.
not sure where to try next...
though somewhere with main traffic during european hours may be a priority

having just got used to my new desk also thinking of getting a whiteboard for my room. just to make it a bit more classy.

one final thank you to the person who found my blog searching for "what number haircut does vinny chase get"
i am considering choosing only blog post titles which could be the answers to questions people ask google.

at first i thought it might be a bit harsh

but now i'm pretty sure that it's not. i am obviously referring to listening to other peoples opinions when it comes to film and movie reviews. and how you shouldn't. i first noticed this effect when i read a review for teh film flight club in the evening standard. i read it after seeing the film and noticed that he either didn't watch the film, or it was one looong typo. i hope it was the latter.
sadly, this does not clarify the real reason why you shouldn't listen to most people. it's because people like different things, yet are wholly convinced their opinion is best. the only people you should ever listen to are ones you already know have good taste (similar to your own obviously). if you don't know what taste they have, just mention films you liked and see whether they did. if not, just ignore an recommendations they give you.
films and tv, however, do not let you see into the soul of a person. just because they like the simpsons, family guy, pizza and flight of the conchords does not mean they are not going to be a massive pain in the hippocampus to live with. i can guarantee it won't guarantee that finish things you own neither asking nor replacing what was used.

in much more scary news i awoke the other day to see a spider hanging upside down inches from my face. spiders are scary at the best of times and having one in my face when waking up was a most unsatisfactory experience.

i've recently bought a desk for my computer, and hope to shortly by a whiteboard to make my room even classier. when buying my desk i walked past an orchid by the checkout. it called out to me like an rspca rescue kitten so i bought it. people say orchids are really tough to look after. apparently you only need to water them once a week. this seems rather easy to me. makes me wonder how infrequently you can water other plants? maybe catii's are the best plants to own since you can go years without remembering to water them and they should survive. that's judging by their desert performance but maybe i'm wrong since i know nothing about them except their amazing ability to get their little spikes in your skin when you've walked less than 3 feet but more than 2 feet from them. (that's >24 and <36 inches in case you aren't sure what feet are)

feeling bad

been away and no feeling pretty ill

coming back to this didn't help

will post when feeling less sick

vulnerable

i started playing some bridge recently. it's an interesting game, but i think it lacks something to it. too much of it seems set in stone. there is always a correct bid, which is just saying what you have in a round about way. and there's always a correct way to play. having gained a basic understanding though, i do find some of the evening standard's bridge hands interesting in a way i guess a beginner would as it shows the more creative things you have to do in order to win where it would be very tough to see it for the first time. kind of how mating someone with just a knight in chess after trapping their king with their own rook is beautiful in chess and would be pretty tough to come up with without seeing it somewhere else first (for me anyway)

so it turns out in bridge you are vulnerable when you're closer to winning. but i was most vulnerable the other day when i was sitting on the toilet and a wasp flew into the bathroom. unable to move, obviously, and a wasp flying closer and closer to me i felt briefly like a stripper with shame would feel. if any existed.

i have also had serious difficulty of late with my new desk. it has one of those slide out sections for the keyboard but the entire desk is so high that even in my high up chair on it's highest settings when i type my wrists are angled so far upwards it hurts to type or use the mouse. i can't see why anyone would build a desk at this stupid height and if it wasn't so difficult to repack it i would send it back. but i can't. so i need to find a solution before my wrists fall off.

best player in the world

so a las vegan sat at the table and this is what he said

Kru: im going to be splashing a lot of chips around
Kru: i am the best player in the world
Kru: my skills are unprecedented, my play is unmatched
Kru: im an elite player, a warrior if u will
Kru: a true master of the game
Kru: before it is all said and done, all of the chips will be in my grasp
Kru: its not my fault im the best player in the world

first two hands he folds, then this happens:

Seat 6 is the button
Seat 1: SB ( $482.40 USD )
Seat 2: BB ( $510.50 USD )
Seat 3: utg ( $696.00 USD )
Seat 4: utg+1 ( $404.00 USD )
Seat 5: co ( $210.00 USD )
Seat 6: Kru ( $400.00 USD )
SB posts small blind [$2.00 USD].
BB posts big blind [$4.00 USD].

** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to utg+1 [  8d Ad ]
utg folds
utg+1 raises [$12.00 USD]
co folds
Kru raises [$36.00 USD]
SB raises [$82.00 USD]
BB folds
utg+1 folds
Kru calls [$48.00 USD]

** Dealing Flop ** [ 5d, 8h, Jh ]
SB bets [$104.00 USD]
Kru raises [$316.00 USD]
SB calls [$212.00 USD]

** Dealing Turn ** [ As ]

** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
SB shows [8s, 8c ]
Kru shows [Qs, Qh ]

he didn't say anything on the way out

meanwhilst... about 2 hands into my session i found myself 6 buyins down. i contued hovering between 6 and 5 buyins down. mainly courtesy of ridiculous runner runners
luckily i outdrew lots of people and ended up 1 buy in down

have now hit supernova and just wanna clear the 4k bonus by the end of the weekend.

i've noticed i'm becoming more able to play longer sessions without losing my focus. this is great except i forgot i should sleep a little tonight.

table abuse

this is what a fish said to me last week after i raised him

'i could win i tell ya dude u doin reases like a noob'


after which he folded.
we than had a frank discussion about reases. which i thought were an american chocolate. iirc, he hit a straight vs a bad reg's two pair, and then cold called  my 3 bet with 23, flopped a 456 against my pocket fours, stacked me when i should have folded the river, and then ran away. i guess he had the last laugh. after all, he who laughs last, thinks slowest.

in other news, following many national and international announcements on the subject, i too will be follwoing suit and banning vuvuzela's from my abode. just the mere thought of someone bringing one here, which has never happened in the history of the united kingdom, has thrown my body into shock and i will be enforcing this ban with the appropriate punishment of 8 months tinnitus should you be caught with a vuvuzela about your person. this may lead to terrible jokes such as 'is that a vuvuzela in your pocket or are you just trying to get away with bringing it in here' but that is a small price to pay.

this month i can't tell the difference between nightmares and good dreams

this graph is why i hate month defined goals.
i have
played the most hands i have managed in a month
endured my worst ever downswing
played phenomenally bad
been battered by deepstacked coolers (set under set, nut house into quads deep grr)
been running way above all in ev during this time, as if to rub in how terrible i am
suffered my best day according to ptr
and it all started so well:

the peak early was at +$8k, and the bottom of the green money dip was below $6k

so a 14k downswing which i can definitely attribute to some highly dubious play on my behalf. i noticed another mental leak i have, where if i don't get any good cards after about 500 hands i lose it completely. this happened tonight. that last dip (just double checked, it's a 4k dip!) in the graph was tonight. following that, i decided to not play anything but aa/kk/ak for 300 hands. and for the most part i stuck to that. and then reverted back to playing well.

next month will be interesting. i expect to be playing not much, but i will at some point probably have to break to my house mate that i am succumbed to gamblor . i'm not sure how he'll take it. he does not like football, take inordinately long showers, leave clothes lying around the lounge, and nag about things like house parties. so it would seem that at the same time i will have to break the news to him that he is possible a doughnut puncher (thanks south park for that euphemism). not that there's anything wrong with it, i'm just not sure he is aware.

in one moment of lucidity this past weekend i watched  'whatever works.' a film starring larrry david as a physicist. my favourite line in the film, is when he says to this lady
"if i can understand quantum mechanics, i can certainly comprehend the thought process of a submental baton twirler"

i would give this film a 10/10. go watch it before you do anything else (include finishing this blog post. so i'm gonna stop writing since you should have stopped reading)