this month i can't tell the difference between nightmares and good dreams

this graph is why i hate month defined goals.
i have
played the most hands i have managed in a month
endured my worst ever downswing
played phenomenally bad
been battered by deepstacked coolers (set under set, nut house into quads deep grr)
been running way above all in ev during this time, as if to rub in how terrible i am
suffered my best day according to ptr
and it all started so well:

the peak early was at +$8k, and the bottom of the green money dip was below $6k

so a 14k downswing which i can definitely attribute to some highly dubious play on my behalf. i noticed another mental leak i have, where if i don't get any good cards after about 500 hands i lose it completely. this happened tonight. that last dip (just double checked, it's a 4k dip!) in the graph was tonight. following that, i decided to not play anything but aa/kk/ak for 300 hands. and for the most part i stuck to that. and then reverted back to playing well.

next month will be interesting. i expect to be playing not much, but i will at some point probably have to break to my house mate that i am succumbed to gamblor . i'm not sure how he'll take it. he does not like football, take inordinately long showers, leave clothes lying around the lounge, and nag about things like house parties. so it would seem that at the same time i will have to break the news to him that he is possible a doughnut puncher (thanks south park for that euphemism). not that there's anything wrong with it, i'm just not sure he is aware.

in one moment of lucidity this past weekend i watched  'whatever works.' a film starring larrry david as a physicist. my favourite line in the film, is when he says to this lady
"if i can understand quantum mechanics, i can certainly comprehend the thought process of a submental baton twirler"

i would give this film a 10/10. go watch it before you do anything else (include finishing this blog post. so i'm gonna stop writing since you should have stopped reading)