i found the luckiest man

sadly, all his luck was directed at me

all heads up pots
kt vs aj        kqt flop
t5 vs q3dd   tt9dd flop turn flush
k8 vs 99      k98ss 5 8s

and a 3 way tilted aq vs ak (and ak)

so thats todays graph. obv the coolers above aren't included in the ev line.

as if i wasn't already tilted enough from yesterday when i had people in front of me on the escalator (a family with little kids) and when they got to the top they just stopped inches from the end. just to look around. with people right behind me i almost knocked over one of their kids. a part of me can understand these energy wasting humans not caring about other people but surely they should protect their kids from being walked into?

then on my journey home i had my least favourite driver type.  the one that cuts you up - clearly in a rush to get somewhere? no, just wanted to get in front of me and drive slowly. 

again, i can understand if you wanna drive slow, and can somewhat understand if you need to cut me up dangerously if you're in a rush (not that i agree with it!) but to dangerously get in front of me only to then drive slowly? it's almost like i'm in the truman show and they're testing me. (which would mean you're in on it too. you bastards)

i find it offensive that my own blog makes me fill out a captcha to comment

i wouldn't mind so much except i still get spam comments!

though they are cool spam comments with wise sayings.

tonight i decided to inflict a great pain upon myself. that's right, i cashed out of stars. fully aware of the myth of the cashout curse, i concentrated on not being struck down by the hoodoo.

sadly, i lost out. i won't bore you with the details and .... what's that i hear? you wanna know? sounds like schadenfreude. but i don't want to disappoint you. so here goes.
jj vs qq
qjx flop
bye bye 300bb pot
aj vs kq, he calls me all in on flop of a10x lol. turn j. lol more.
99 vs a5dd again im called all in on turn with a board of 2284dd
aa vs k2hh called all in on flop of 373hh
and the final straw was i had AcAs against 9s10s and flop was 678sss turn Js. lol thanks.

that said, i played pretty bad and made some shocking mistakes which is what i really try to concentrate on avoiding.

i've also had some terrible life news, in that i've literally been sent to Coventry. after being asked to go i had a 'yes man' moment where i thought if i said yes to everyone i would get zooey deschanel. only after putting the phone down did i realise it was a book first and not a film. and everyone knows you can't trust everything you read. another schoolboy mistake.

i want one of these

i'm not yet sure what for, but definitely do want

a busy week of spiders, hotels and things i have forgotten

i've seen on tv that spiders lay billions of eggs and then they all hatch at once and run out like horny trance addicts on crack shooting white stuff everywhere.
never though did i get into my car, only to see them performing their newly hatched ritual on my wing mirror and window. once i'd got into my car, i found it very difficult to get out.
thankfully my passenger was braver than i and casually despidered my car on my behalf.
that was a close encounter.

then i find my flat (not really my flat, just where i was temporarily sheltering from the heat) had no central heating or hot water. so i had to go to a hotel to shower one night. i had to go to town, ending up near tottenham court road since i booked it last minute and they were the cheapest (and it was a 4* woooooo)
only to arrive at 1am and get told by the check in man he has good news. sweets perhaps i though to myself. but no, just an upgrade to some king sweet or something. kinda passed me by till i walked into a room i decided i could definitely live in forevermore. sadly i was getting it at one fifth the real price and forevermore would equate to 3 weeks looking at my bank account.

here are some pics of magnificent room

As for the thing i forget, well i remembered that i had something else funny that happened, but that is all that i can remember. which is probably worse than just forgetting it.

you only tilt when you're winning

i once wrote a post about how i should stop looking at how much i'm winning/losing as it affects my play. i mostly was thinking about the losing side as this gets most coverage. obviously it's tougher to keep going when you're losing and it can cause bad play which causes more losses and this spirals into a decimation of money in account and less sleep in bed.

however, something i had completely neglected until recently was how winning affects me. i recently read someone else mention that winning can cause you to 'tilt'. i never realised how much this phenomenon affected me until last week. i really noticed that i also cared less about each decision when i was winning as my mentality was 'this hand doesn't matter, i'm winning loads even if i lose it.'
that was a session  set to be my best ever till i gave away half the winnings and didn't really care.
as such, it's another compelling reason not to check winnings/losses at least during the session. something i finally managed to do (or not do!) tonight.

i also need to stop obsessing over ptr and daily results. gonna try to check ptr once a week at most (and then cut down to once a month if i can)

after being 6k down in the year (twice) tonight i hit +5 figures which feels pretty good. hopefully i can start putting some volume in and see where it takes me.

kinda forgot my plan to try to include a picture with every post. here was my facebook inbox a couple of weeks ago.

i wonder if facebook is stealing other people's messages too?

getting my head checked out

so i went to the doctor to have a look at some wierd growth on my head. i couldn't see it, but others told me it was was some weird little thing and those are supposed to get looked at.
i turned up at the docs and casually mentioned that i also thought i was losing hearing in one of my ears. he checked out my ear and said it seemed fine. i told him when i was listening to music and things with headphones i couldn't hear well in one ear.
however, his most pressing concern was that i didn't make this point about hearing when booking my appointment at the gp, along with the abnormal head thing. no concern whatsoever about the rapid coordinated degradation of my body. merely, the protocol i had so seemingly spectacularly abused.
anyway, another happy ending as i realised a few days ago that in fact my headphones were faulty and one ear is quieter than the other. i'm not falling apart just yet.

some days

are clearly good.
some are clearly bad.
most are a mixture.
though usually i think one's frame of reference is more based on your perception of things which (allegedly) is easy to change.

that said, i think today was good. i officially retired from the world of 'work' and will finish up by the end of the month. at that point i will start looking for another house to rent (great timing).
other news from today - i have a 15th follower. this is a magnificent development and is a much more well rounded number than 14. so thanks to all my followers (including me)
other magnificent report from today was playing 5 a side. not only did we manage to finish before it started pissing down but i also managed to make a wonderous reaction save with my nose. on top of that i also managed to add some beautiful red patterns to the top i was wearing at the time. don't tell me i can't multitask.

my dreams are weird. i don't mean the ones when i'm awake. those are also weird but understandable. e.g. today i dreamt of following the car in front of me back to his house. i would wait for him to go inside, and in that time i would write a note. when he leaves his car i would go to it and take both wing mirrors, pick the lock and also take the rear view mirror, leaving my note which says "well, if you're not gonna use them, i might as well take them"

this seems to be a very big mix of thoughts. my last of which is that amazon's recommend thing is obviously broken. i bought *** ** *** **** on my account for a ladyfriend. obviously i've never watched it, nor do i intend to but it now recommends to me all manner of diabolical tv shows. i need to turn it off. or perhaps by many manly things to balance it out, like motor oil and guns etc

scoops

not ice cream, but stars's super tournament fest.
after complaining that tournaments tilt me i could do nothing but enter a couple yesterday. one was a 200 runner winner goes to south africa for the football thing where i busted 40somethingth.
the other was a scoop mid buy in winner goes home (or stays sat at home in his/her pyjamas) with many billions of dollars. (or maybe just one hundred and seventy thousand of them for company. i forget which but it was too many to count in one go).

4500 runners started and i had beat off over 4400 but with my sore hand, tired mind and no more chips i could no longer continue and went to bed with a profit earnt (/won?) at a mere few dollars per hour. over 10 hours of play, but i'm not too disappointed. i think i did ok considering i don't know what i'm doing and i wasn't far from making lots in one fell swoop.

but now, having gone to bed at close to 5am and getting up before 9 (ok, waking up close to 8, and getting up after 9) i am tired. i think i would like to work at google where they have a nap area. i miss that about the early years of primary school. siesta's. only the spanish kept up the idea of a national siesta every single day. almost makes me want to move there. that, along with the fact that the hot women can't say thirty, but instead pronounce it dirty. tempting...

a tied election

what do you do when a local election is tied?
you recount the votes.
4 times.
still tied.
now what?
cut a pack of cards. best of one. high card wins.
welcome to english law.
proof

tor(na)ment

i have decided that playing in tournaments tilts me. not the losing, the beats or the hours of play for a lower wage then you can get walking the streets looking for change. i just find the act of playing them to be boring and painful and just should not play any.
today, of course, i decided to play a few, some freerolls, some not free rolls. playing these alongside each other is bizarre. in some games you're fighting against people who quite possibly think that they are playing snap. or war. or a combination of war and snap they just invented in their heads.
at the same time you're playing people who have a semblance of intelligence and understand that there are no jokers in the deck. when playing many tables it is easy to lose track of which is which.
that actually made it more enjoyable till i realised i was treating every game like it was pretend money.
i think i managed one cash for what could was about 15c. every little helps.

then i decided that i should play cash. i spent most of my time reading the internet and watching telly vision. this did not bode well. i played truly awful and somehow ended up level. as soon as i realised i was not able to snap out of my mental state where i believed people would do what i was telling them to do out loud i decided to quit and eat a steak.

this cheered my up and now i lie here bloated, happy that i didn't lose, but sad because really i did lose since i should have won lots. and instead of playing snap in my mind against myself i am trying to formulate a plan so that when i choose to sit down and play i can get myself in the right frame of mind and achieve a enlightened state of focusness. i believe this to be possible as i am a yellow belt in the world of NLP. having cured my arachnophobia with just my brain i am sure i can fix this problem too.

as for today's pic, it's a photo of a building. a building that won awards for its beauty. voted most architecturally beautiful building in all of sweden. i was taken aback when i first saw it. what say you?

300 posts

a landmark, allegedly. mostly of my survival.

i like photos and am gonna try to put one in every post from now on. today's is a tongue twister which i recently took whilst on a ferry. i was on a train but then the train drove onto the ferry:

whilst traversing europe i rediscovered the 500 Euro note. this is worth a lot of money. all in one monopoly-esque note. i would hate to lose one. i hate losing a £5 note. but i do love finding the odd note in a jacket or trouser pocket i haven't worn for ages. imagine the joy at finding a 500euro note!


i don't have any (more) wise words or tales to regale you with on this magnificent occasion. but i will say this:
weekends in poker are either VERY good or VERY bad. there is no middle ground. last week i ran/played bad and wished to shoot myself in the vagina.
this weekend things went first very very good, then very very bad, but i quit before i wanted to do myself any harm.
what could have been, and for a short time was, my best ever day at the poker tables, turned into a very average day.


i realised i still have lots to learn in playing my best and putting in volume.

i also have to quit my 'job' this month so i can do things with my life. like watch every game of the world cup.

i'm narrowing down the things i don't want to do in life in case my acting career falls through. i've firstly decided that even though house is amazing, i don't want to be a doctor. i don't think i'd be very good.
this is on top of knowing i don't want to be an accountant. or a computer programmer. or a recruitmenteer. and definitely not a politician. they are lying turds.

most of my ideas of what jobs are out there come from watching tv shows. the latest show that i am watching is 'the thick of it.' it's written/made by armando iannucci. there was a spin off film from it called 'in the loop'.
i think he is one of my favourite comedians. he is genius. there was a sketch show he did, the first thing of his i saw, and i was hooked.