Tuesday, April 27, 2010

i need your comedy help

but first, i would like to vent my hate at all retarded drivers who think using their indicators = right of way.
you are a useless human being. up there with most people who have been on big brother.

anyways, here is where i need your help. i saw this superb note in the toilet at school today. if someone knows of a good response, please leave it in the comments and i will put it up on the wall (and take a photo of any forthcoming response) below this beauty:

i came up with a few, select your favourite if you don't come up with your own

1)whoever the filthy person is who keeps throwing away my paper coverings of the toilet seat, could they please stop?!?!11?
if you are dirty enough to touch something my bum has touched one would assume you enjoy it.
this is a university, i think (and therefore it is, or something).
i doubt anyone else takes dumps here, so i expect to see my paper seat waiting for my morning dump the next day. please stop interfering with my routines. are you not educated enough that you clean up after my shit?

2)i can't stop, i might catch AIDS off you


Yakshi said...


1. I am the filthy person to whom you refer.

2. I live amongst zombies.

3. As you have pointed out, putting paper on the toilet seat is part of my routine.

4. As you also may have noticed, removing the aforementioned paper from the toilet seat is NOT part of my routine.

5. The purpose of zombies is to eat the brains of humans and to clean up after me after I squeeze my sausages.

6. Stop whining, zombie.

Highstack said...

"The paper has nothing to do with hygiene. I place it on the seat AFTER I have taken my shit to catch any spunk dribbles that may hit the seat as I turn around to masturbate over what I've just achieved. If I had to remove the paper my hands may stick to it. Be thankful that I flush the chain and don't leave it doing back-stroke in the pan, smiling up at you. I am currently waiting for my HIV results and I'm hopeful that you wash your hands between touching my paper and wiping your own arse or sitting there picking your nose and eating it"

Mr Origami said...

Just carefully tear the note into strips and place it on the toilet seat!

Highstack said...

Mr Origami said...
Just carefully tear the note into "strips and place it on the toilet seat!"

Surely you advocate folding it into position over ripping it Mr Origami?

Mr Origami said...

lol @ highstack...very good :-)

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