anticipation

is a much underrated feeling. you can only get it when there is a possibility of failure which makes the inevitable success sweeter. unless you lose. in which case anticipation was a better feeling than the failure you're experiencing.
sadly, most people dislike this feeling as they either have no self control and want things immediately, or they're forever worried about what might or might not happen. i think that's a bad way to go through life.

my fitness regime is slightly less strict than a pol pot regime, but slightly more so than a saddam one. so it's regular at the moment but i think i need to eat more calories. beer wine and ice cream are best for this i think.

as for previous comments (funny how i forget the reasons i actually wanted to post when i sat down about 5 mins ago) cape town would be cool but i dont think i wanna live there, although i do wanna go to south africa for maybe 2-3 weeks sometime soon.
thinking about somewhere in spain (not the south coast obv) or italy. italy would be nicer i think. my spanish is slighter better than my italian but i'm generally useless at learning languages. i have a set of 9 italian cds (well, i only have 8 of the 9) so hopefully i can pick up a basic understanding if i choose to go there.

as for meditation, i've been doing a couple of different relaxation hypnotherapy techniques i learnt. one is from a therapist (not from this genuine website- www.therapistfinder.com) and one is from a book. funnily enough the book one is better for tilt control. the book is called unlimited power, by anthony robbins. it's one of those stupid self help books which i bought as i was told it could cure me of arachnophobia which it did. now i think its cured my tilt.

so i'm playing a live comp on thursday. 32 players, £77 buy in, havent played a live tourney for ages. playing against retards so hopefully i will do well. either way, i will have the next couple of days' anticipation to enjoy.