I went to a therapist this week and am astonished at how much it has helped. They had many certificates on the wall, and recommendations from people i trust. The only word I want to use to describe them is terrible.
they were more interested in talking to me, than listening to me. Worse still, the rare occasions they did listen, they didn't believe me!
For example, they said how i should do things outside my comfort zone, so i said i had started doing that. they ignored me and carried on telling me that i need to do these things. They just repeated their point that i'm scared of trying new things. that was odd.
to try to help them, i gave examples of things i choose not to do, not because i was SCARED, but because I didn't like it. they told me i was actually scared of it, that i found it stressful, and being an introvert is a choice. i did well to hide my disdain. On my way home I was considering sending them an email asking if they think other issues, like perhaps autism, are also a choice.
at one point i explained that i was a slow thinker. which i am. they replied to tell me i wasn't. i had no idea how to respond. why would you not believe me when i say things?
next up, they asked if two wooden planks were laid out 6 inches apart on the floor, I would be comfortable walking along them. I said yes, obviously. They then said what if they were 30 feet in the air. I said no. they said, but it's the same. I said, no, the risk-reward ratio has now become unacceptable. There is now a risk of injury, with zero reward. They refused to respond to my point!
The funniest part was when they tried to teach me about control. Poker was an amazing teacher for this aspect of life. I explained i've learnt to focus on controlling what i can control. She tried to tell me that luck doesn't exist. I tried to respond that you can only control yourself and that's where my focus is, not on whether or not luck exists. It fell on deaf ears.
Next was the question of what limiting beliefs I have. This always makes me laugh. Anything I said I believed was a limiting belief, I got told was all in my head. I could say, i don't think I can fly, and they would tell me that's just a limiting belief and i'm wrong and ignorant.
I politely declined a return. maybe i should have just been open and blunt and said you haven't listened to me, you didn't believe what i did tell you, so why would you think i want to come back? instead, i just said i need to think about these things before i decide whether to come back, so i'm not taking your homework book which will force me to return to drop it off.
their reply was effectively "aha, I told you so, you are scared of new things! see. you're not trying this out!"
"i don't need to try out ebola to know that i don't want it" is what i wish i had replied.
in summary, playing poker, and reading the book "the 7 habits of highly effective people" was a above and beyond this therapy session, and sadly, probably better than most therapists and counsellors.
