I don't gerrit

this month, after 15k hands, i'm losing 1 big blind every ten hands. this is an unbelievably fast rate to lose money. this is 10bb/100 hands. i just don't understand how this is possible.

once again, it looks like i'm going to have to deposit an amount greater than or equal to the bonus i'm about to reach. i've never experienced anything like this in close to a million hands of play.
my last 12 sessions, i've played better than at any point this year. i've won in 7 (once $500, once $100, and every other time about $3.50). losing sessions, only one was less than a $200 loss.
if i can't beat the complete retards at 100nl who make glaring mistakes repeatedly, then how bad must i be. it's at times like this i usually ask pokerstars to send me a lifetime deposit/withdrawal statement for my account so i don't feel like shit. i'm not even sure that would help this time.