Sunday, August 15, 2010

dead set

just finished watching this series. it's about a fictional big brother series which follows the contestants whilst a zombie outbreak occurs in the real world. i laughed many a time. the producer of the programme is clearly the star of the show. i don't want to ruin any of it since you should be watching it though he reminds me of malcolm from the thick of it. just watch it and know it gets better and better as the series progresses.

just had a car crash online session. played twice today. did well the first time, terribly the second. still not looking at how much i win/lose though i did notice my cashier today when i went to get the 4k bonus. i think i know how much i had at the start of the month but not sure. will be a nice surprise at end of month. i think todays dip will be very noticeable in end of month graph. need to play most hands ever this month although only two weeks to do so. also need to stop talking about it and just do it.


Yakshi said...

Wow, you're not looking at all? I always do my end-of-the-day total. Maybe I'll try that.

Mudwig said...

end of month is gonna be amazing to look. i did accidentally notice last night. i was thinking once a week/fortnight would be best overall. gonna try to finish off this month without looking though, just so i know i can.
i'm already feeling better for it though as i don't waste time concentrating on things such as money won and positive or negative variance; only on making the best possible decisions in the present.

Yakshi said...

It's so hard for me to do. Ever since I read your post, I have been trying, but looking at the cashier is irresistible. I double up--I check. I get stacked--I check. I raise preflop, cbet, get called, check-fold the turn 6 times in a row--I check.

But I'm trying. I admire your stubbornness.

Are you saying that when you accidentally checked your cashier that you were happy with what you saw?

Mudwig said...

i think i was happy with what i saw. not least cos i was sure i'd spewed off $3k or so in the session before noticing the total.
i have spent months trying to reach this state where i don't check obsessively.
at first i tried to go cold turkey but that was impossible. restarted by checking totals less often, then stopping during sessions.
and now, months after first wanting to never check, i am finally close to not obsessing over it and think i am near where i want to be mentally.
because the only reason i've done this is to improve my mindset whilst playing.
it's funny because one of the first things i heard about poker many moons ago was it's a long term game which is clearly true. however, knowing it's true and acting based on that knowledge are two very different things!

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