adventurous creatures and my massive failings. in reverse order

so my internet kept dropping whilst playing which annoyed me. i mentioned this a few times to o2 previously, and the other weekend it was every half hour so i called them again on monday. this time, instead of saying it's my fault they say, "known issue with the router, we'll upgrade it, will happen within 72 hours"
brilliant. thanks for being wring lots of times before and not actually looking into it and not letting me know when you did find a problem or at least upgrading it automatically.

that however, is the least of my worries. i have been haemorrhaging money at a fantastic rate and have begun to question whether i know what i'm doing in the slightest. i know small sample, variance, etc etc but it's difficult not to just think i'll never make enough to make this a worthwhile pursuit. this is my greatest concern. long term results speak louder than my own ego and this scares me.
due to get a 4k bonus soon so will take proper stock after that.
at the end of the day, i have just been making way too many mistakes. if i can't sustain good play for many days and months on end i should put efforts into making monies in other ways. that was always the plan, the was just to make money to invest in other things.
still, gonna get back on the horse at the weekend

also gonna start posting more often. been slack of late. so nature got me back to posting. i knew i shouldn't have watched episode 8 of the 'human planet : cities'.
yesterday i saw a very well fed rat walking towards me. i called it splinter it was that big. it ran away when i took my camera phone out. two days ago as i walked out my flat main front door i spotted an enormous creature was walking towards me. at first i thought it was a cockroach (ok, so it wasn't enormous but noticeably big when i saw it in my peripheral vision) but then i saw it was a spider. aren't they supposed to run away from humans? i guess they're so used to us they don't any more. as if to prove this point to me, last night i was touching myself inappropriately (and lazily enough that my trousers were only as far down as a gangster rapper) when i saw a spider walking along my thigh mere inches from my throbbing member. luckily, i'd already been to the toilet a few minutes earlier.