Tuesday, March 24, 2009

live pokers

i'm continually amazed at how i lose at live cash games.

live tournaments i do ok (well, the standard of my nearest card room is similar to play money tables) but cash games i just lose endlessly against the very same hygienically challenged humans.

reasons this could be the case:

1)i go on super subtle massive tilt due to

a) playing approx 10hands an hour, rather than the 500ph online rate
b) the extreme retardation levels of opponents
c) the things that live players do including but not limited to:

- the showdown game where you have to take as long as possible to showdown your hand in a non slowroll way because you want to see the other persons cards
- eating the greasiest food you can find with your fingers before wiping them on the cards
- the nightly competition to see who can say the most retarded thing. i am yet to work out if it's one massive level, or if they actually believe what they say. forget being unable to work out pot odds etc, these opponents have difficulty recalling the flop from the previous hand after someone has just told them what it was
-taking 3 minutes over each and every decision
(feel free to add your own in the comments)

2)i'm actually much worse than all these players i come up against

3)it is in fact just a game of pure luck and i am less lucky than these players

I'll spare you the beats cos they aren't very interesting.

my favourite hand + comment of the night was when i got all in on the turn on a 10862dd board in omaha with 101097 and paired the board on the river to win.
my opponent claimed to have 97 with a flush draw. obviously he won the "show me yours first game" so even though he was called he didn't show his hand. later in the night he accused me of outdrawing him.

in other news my weight gain program is going well and i've added 3kg (7 pounds) in a couple of weeks. i ate 500g of ben and jerry's ice cream in last two days so hopefully that will add some fat to my belly.

russian learning is cool. i have realised one lesson a week from my book is too optimistic. i have forgotten how hard it is to learn lots of things which invoke the power of my memory since i have neglected this aspect of my brain for a while. it took me a week just to remember about 30 words, and now i have to remember some conjugations without forgetting the other stuff.


Joppa Road said...

Live poker is the best buzz but eating at the table should be a fkin automatic taken outside and given a good kick in - too harsh? Eating crisps at a table ffs. One guy even ordered a bacon and fried egg sandwich. Its disgusting enough watching people eat that alone when I am playing poker.

Another example that to me warrants more than a beating is when you are playing snooker, you look across to another table and they have a pint perched on the side of the table. I just want to go over there and say...

"This is a hand crafted table you thick fuckwit, and you have the cheek to place a pint on the side (usually Guinness)just waiting for it get knocked over onto that beautiful baize"

I don't do this though because....

1. They are usually wearing a vest which I just cannot comprehend.

2. They are bigger than me.

You may have touched a nerve here.

Bruce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bruce said...

Who called them 10's?? That looks redic. just use T for tens. So 101097 becomes the much more readable TT97.

Mudwig said...

defo ban food at tables imo

i'm starting a new trend with the 10s. i don't think it'll catch on. people use T for a reason.

Add to Technorati Favorites